Voilà

Tired as Hell

Your works make me laugh (especially the successful tips :P) So I just hope this chapter makes you laugh! Your feedback is valuable :) 

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MICHAEL’S PERSPECTIVE

          Today’s morning was pretty eventful. My bad, I couldn’t pound my fist into his stupid face. Wait. Who wants the morning? It’s the night I care about. The epic night! That’s what I care about. Man! Wasn’t it awesome! Darla has real potential. Damn, REAL potential. She was just… awesome. Words have abandoned me to describe her and… her potential. Darla, Darla, Darla. I thought Nathan would wake up on account of all the noise, but he didn’t, thankfully. I really wouldn’t appreciate the idea of my best friend and flat-mate barging in on one of my most erotic moments of my life. The night’s memories made me sigh.

          After I woke up this morning, confused, she woke up soon after and looked at me, pouting, again. That girl, seriously. I’m positive she pouts in her sleep too. Then she said something that felt like a kick in the gut.

          “I want to have kids with you,” she said.

          “What?!” I screamed, completely awake now.

          “Wouldn’t you like to get committed?” she asked me like she was asking a kid if he wanted a chocolate.

         After this I didn’t have a response. No VERBAL response, I mean. After she was dressed, I took her by the arm and steered her to the door. I did not understand why I was not able to say anything. It was like somebody had gagged my mouth.

         “What?” she asked, cocking her eyebrows. Then, she seemed to understand something which I had not meant. “Oh. The newspaper hasn’t come yet. I’ll get it when it comes. Duh! Why didn’t you just say so? You were propelling me like you wanted to kick me out,” she said as she went into the kitchen.

          This girl was duh-ing me? ME? Michael VanHalen? Star Model of Voilá? A face every magazine cover coveted? Well, you get the gist right? As I wanted to do exactly that, kick her out, I mean, I resorted to all sorts of ideas. Bravely I walked into the kitchen where she was making omelets. Yeah, seriously. She had already got “committed” that this was her kitchen.

          I’d like to skip all the unpleasant parts. Finally after all the crying and screaming and dragging and the declarations of love, I kicked her out her out of my house. Woohoo! I thought her screams would wake Nathan up. He did not appreciate the choice of my one night stands, much to my chagrin. At that moment of glory, Nathan walked out of his room groggily with earplugs dangling from his ears.

          “What would a guy have to do to get a little peace over here? The night was bad enough and now you even chose the morning to ruin my sleep. Who was she anyway? Why was she screaming?” he asked, confused.

         “Oh, no one. I kicked her out, that’s it,” I replied, clutching my head. Okay, the hangover was kicking in now.

          “What? Did she get pregnant?” Nathan asked with his eyes wide open. “I don’t want to be an uncle so soon!”

          “Don’t worry. I’m not daddy, she’s not mommy and you’re definitely not an uncle, okay? And thanks for the insult dude. I’m always protected.”

          “Aww… I’m not underestimating your abilities, big boy. Just so you know, condoms are only 99.9% effective. Here take this. It’ll help you with the head ache,” he said, giving me a pill. Only, I was too shocked to take it.