[🌸] Admit It | Riren/Ereri AU

08 | forgotten memories

Unedited

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I lounge around in my room like any other person with nothing better to do with life. The aroma of a new book is what i inhale while I held a hardcover copy of a new novel in my hands. As i predicted, my mother bought me a new set of books for me to read while i relaxed. I've already read The Scarlet Letter, but my mom can't possibly keep track of the books i've read, sometimes i even forget if i've read a book.

It's actually quite nice not having to do anything. I can be lazy all I want, and I know my mom won't harass me to do anything; or have any professors to do work for. I'd say i'm pretty lucky compared to most SU students. Some students aren't getting Thanksgiving off because of work, some can't relax because of an exam the day after Thanksgiving.

I feel bad for Farlan's girlfriend. Poor Isabel is working two different jobs. I wonder if I helped her with the money. I hope I never have to find myself working all through my university experience. Thank you scholarship.

When I first came home yesterday I was very active. I took Buddy for a walk around town, went down to the old library to say hello to the librarian, rearranged the books in my room (all five hundred and thirty books, this includes the new ones). I organized them by author, then by title, unlike my last pattern which was just by the order of completion.

The only thing that really surprised me since I've been here was being able to actually sleep.

I didn't think i would be able to sleep once i got home, but surprisingly i was able to last night. I slept for a full eight hours, i can stay up for days with that kind of sleep. Now that i think of it, i probably won't be able to sleep again for a while, or maybe i'm cured from insomnia.

I snort. "I wish," i say out loud to no one. "I really need to get some pills soon."

Great, I'm talking to myself.

I flop to my stomach and drape over my bed in boredom. I already know what's going to happen, yet I want to keep reading. It's actually a bigger struggle than most people think. It's as if I want to be surprised all over again. As if I want to relive those emotions that thrilled my the first time I read a book, but I can't. I can't relive the same thrills because it's not easy to just forget them. When I begin a book, I become anxious. I want to hurry up and get to the thrilling chapters, but that won't be any fair if I just skip. Some people just don't understand.

"Levi!" My mother calls from downstairs. This is the first time she has called me today, so I immediately reply.

"Yes?" I holler back, and my voice cracks from the sudden use. Ah, that takes me back to those treacherous teenage years of good ol' puberty. I hated those years, more than I hate pickles.

I didn't hear her respond, but I continue to wait. When thirty seconds passed, and no reply was said, I groan loudly.

"Yes, mom?" I yell even louder than before.

Still no answer.

I groan a final time, slamming my head into the soft pillow. This agitates me. Why call for me if she isn't going to respond?

I slump out of bed, dragging my feet behind me. I take large, sloppy steps towards the stairs that still, to this day, haunt me.

"We meet again, stairs," I speak to no one. I face palm with a shake of my head, realizing that I was once again talking to myself.

Maybe I'm just used to someone listening, that someone being Eren. No matter what i said aloud, he would always have something to say. I guess I've just grown used to having him around so often. I'm not saying that I'm attached, why would I admit to something like that?