I Have Hope

I will Never Give Up

Living my life isn't something anyone would prefer, it should not be lived by anyone actually , But God knows the best for us and everything is planned out.
Well My life started in December 16 when I was born in Dublin , I had Golden Brown hair and it was wavy , I was always surrounded by my Mom, Dad and Relatives ever since birth and we would always go picnics and it was amazing until I reached the age of Two and a half !
My Dad had to work outside the Country and so we had to leave all our Friends and Relatives and permanently live in Washington !
it was kind of lonely and Sad to be with no humans that I'd known but I was happy as long as I was with my Family.
We usually go on picnics , trips out of the city , visit some museums and do other awesome stuff !
I liked my family , I was kind off spoiled 😆, I was the only Child and was born after 6 years of their marriage so I was their Ultimate Blessing!
But Good things sure has endings.
My life was good until I turned Four!
That's when my Mom was walking down the street with me and I wanted the Ice Cream at the other side of the street and ran with no hesitation to choose one so my Mom could get me it but after I chose one and looked behind me waiting my Mom to get the money out what I found was only........
it was mom crashed on the ground because of a Speeding Car!
I was so scared because I just saw my favorite Person full of blood and unconscience and I told the Ice Cream Man " Um....That's my M-Mom laying on the g-ground ! what should I do !?" I said that while crying unconditionally !I remember peeing my pants too!
The man acted fast and took the phone from my Mom , searched between the contacts for my Dad's Number and told him what happened .
after 40 Minutes my Dad arrived and carried my Mom to the Hospital where they approved her Death!
Me and my Dad went home sadly for losing such an amazing woman!
So days passed and I was lonely everyday whenever my Dad leaves the house for work, I used to play in our Garden and pet our Dog and have fun with her !
But every weekend he sends me to my Uncle's house where I stay there for three days at least .
I always had fun with my cousins there , and usually my dad picks me up while carrying lots of junks and candies , which made me and my cousins extremely happy !
And I used to sleep while hugging a pillow , which have a picture of Mom printed on it .
My life was like this until I turned Six!
My Dad was on the way to pick me up from my Uncle's House where he bumps a car accidentally and Survives for 10 Minutes which were enough to call my Uncle and to beg for help ! Even though my uncle reached him , it was too late !
My Dad passed away 😕 but I denied it and I thought he is still going to pick me up ! I waited 3 days by my Uncle's door for my Dad and he never came.
I unfortunately stayed at my uncle's house for the meantime .
My uncle was extremely nice to me and favored me over his Children and spoiled me so much , he was an amazing man!
I wasn't really happy at my Uncle's House since my Uncle's Wife didn't really like me staying at their house for such a long period of time
She keeps putting in my food much/less Salt/Sugar in my Food/Sweets to avoid me from eating or enjoy eating it !
she never allowed me to play in their Pretty Garden , nor hang out with Elementary Friends , she never helped me with my studies since she hates how I still get higher grades than her children!
My life was not that bad until I reached Ten !
My Uncle was watching Tv and then he started breathing fast, he had a sudden and unexpected heart attack, I looked at him and Rushed to his Wife and she ran and called ambulance but unfortunately he died after two days eventually!
I was terrified my the third death in life and I cried my eyes out for 8 days as well as The rest of his Family!
After his death by two weeks my Uncle's Wife continued Doing the stuff she used to do but even worse like she kept pinching me for no reason and not allowing to eat junks nor fruits ! she kept saying I was the reason for his death ! And she called me " Miss Jinx " and treated me like I was a curse that caused my Mom's , Dad's and Uncle's death!
I tried stealing food by Daily commanding my young Cousin to sneak and bring me an Apple , Chocolate or anything that comes to my mind !
I was not always allowed to attend School because she hid my books , took my Bag , told the teacher I'm sick or got my uniform torn!!
Anyway I had a good relationship with all my Cousins , I had four by the way, Wajih (12) , Isaac (11) , Sidra (16) and 5 years old Boy Jerry .
All of them were nice to me except the oldest one , she was also like her Mom but she pretends like she's the opposite!
She bullies me by making fun of anything I do basically!
My life was like this until I reached Twelve!
My Uncle's Wife approached to me in the morning waking me with a smile and that creeped me out since she never smiled to me before ! , she asked me to bring myself anything I wanted and handed me a 100$ and gave me New Clothes , they weren't new because they were for Sidra!
I was confused but took the bait happily but Stupidly and went to buy some sweets and I bought for my Cousins too .
Why was I too immature ! Is it Because I was still 12?
When I returned I knocked the door several times but no one answered , I asked the neighbors and one of them said they went for a Picnic over the Mountain!😰 I knew she hated me , but not that much ! she left a letter at least
" Dear Dumb Zay,
I think your name suit you specially that it sounds like the LAST alphabet of the letters... Totally like your importantance !
Now let me tell you ! I don't want my boys to like you because you always flirt with them ! and commanding my little kid to bring you whatever you want , I saw you! and you're so annoying ! so I guess living by yourself might make you happier!I mean make US happier! 😊
bye! "
So I left the things I bought for my Cousins and left the area with no returning! I know ! I know! I regret leaving the food!
I walked and walked hoping with no specific destination to find a place to Eat or Sleep, that's when I got the idea of working as a maid or something in a Restaurant and once I get the money I will rent an apartment!
I looked for any restaurants needing a 12 years old girl or younger , I kept asking people around me about any Hotel , Restaurant , or Super Market to work in!
After a week of Searching ALL the streets in the morning and sleeping in a cardboard at night I found a Restaurant that needs two more Maids ! I was so Happy!!
I entered the Restaurant and just by the name I knew it was Italian Food! and I have never eaten or cooked Italian food!
I saw a woman looking important specially with her thick black lined eyeglasses who turned out to be the Manager, she welcomed me with a Pure , Pretty Smile and said to me :
" Hello ! Welcome to our restaurant! I appreciate it ! are you here to Eat?! " she asked waiting an answer!
" Um..Yeah..I mean No! I came to try working as a Maid ! " I said Nervously.
" Aren't you a bit Young?" she was confused.
I took a deep breathe and emotionally spoke" Well I'm an Orphan ! so I want some money to get an apartment to live and stand on my feet again!" I said while looking at my feet!
she smiled on one side and said " Aha! Oh ! sorry ! Okay anyway , Follow me and I will show you the place and where you should work . " she was so stiff like a Robot. For some reason.
The place was Huge! there was a lot of Partitions , like Men Parition , Women Partition , Family Partition , Kids Partition , Elders Partition ! I don't know why they needed all that!
she told me that I will be working in the Kids Area and that made me Really Happy since it's easy to communicate with Kids, and the work won't be difficult if I would be around people my age!
She proceeded by showing me my locker, how my work should be, gave me my schedule and discussed my salary and I couldn't be happier!
I started the next day and it was kind off good but not THAT good since one of the kids pull out their feet out while I was serving a Smoothie to the person next to him and I fell and broke the smoothie on my head and got humiliated in the whole Restaurant ( even though they are kids , some are my age ) as everyone laughed at me and I hear the boy who tripped me was saying "oh my! She totally deserved worse!" I mean why? !
the manager smiled and said " Don't do it again " I looked at her eyes and I realized she was hiding anger so I walked away!😟
The next day I was much careful than the other day!! I kept looking where I walk and such as....
That day went good!
The Very Next Week I almost had in my pocket 260$ so I thought it's pretty enough to get an apartment to live with my dignity saved !
and I'm sure you're asking where was I leaving all this time ! I was living inside a carton behind the restaurant and it wasn't Warm , it was so cold and I kept getting sick until I got this money to buy an apartment ! but not really!
I went to an Apartment Renting office and I asked for the cheapest apartment and the cheapest one was.......1300$ !!!!
I told them, I'm orphan without Parents or Relatives or Friends! still they just discounted it to 1250$ ! I know it's so expensive but that's the only apartment renting things that is not that far I can't walk so far on my feet and come back at night all alone , and I can't take a Bus or Taxi and I have to remember that the city I am in is already a very expensive city! I mean I don't think my parents would have came here if my dad wasn't owning a huge socks company..
I don't have enough money ! So I told the man " Um..So I think I'm Gonna Take It , Take This Money and Next week I will give the 700$ ! " I said gently .
" Um.... Sorry miss I guess this is illegal ! give the full money or else NO ,NO ! " he raised hand and Waving it to me to get it!
I thought about it and for sure I can't get 500$ in a week so I thought about taking a new job so I looked around again!😕 I looked every single place in this city , I almost memorized the whole place!
I found another to work in ! YAY! I was so happy !
One Was a Hotel and the good thing about it is that it's so near to the restaurant so I can move easily ☺️, well it all started when I entered the hotel and looked for a manager or something !
I found a Maid and asked " Um .... Where Is the... I mean Where can I find the manager's office?! " I asked politely.
" It's on the left corner of this building! " she said with a smile and rushed away but I didn't get where the manager was supposed to be.
I asked about the left corner of this building ! and all the answers were like " Um...who are you first?! " " Why should you know !? " " I don't know " and other useless answers!
but somehow I found it my own 😊 and asked for work and it was approved !! and the second place was a Restaurant too , I will work there as a Cashier Girl and it will be fun! Well, it started by finding a paper on the ground about new jobs ( luckily ) and went on the address and approved the job.