I Have Hope

I'm Not Surviving ,I'm Thriving

"IS THERE SOMEONE NAMED NICK YOP, IF YES PLEASE COME PEACEFULLY" A huge dark skinned man with a beard shouted at the top of his lungs , and if I was Mr. Yop I wouldn't come... The scene was seriously too scary, but in my case ,I was with pragmatism really sad that my party is destroyed and it was one of my only happy momments in these 15 years I've lived !
"Yes, yes sir, it's me, Nick Yop, yes? " He said nervously, he then walked to them courageously and the policemen handed the huge man a clear plastic bag with white powder in it, and he handed to Mr. Yop as he panicks, what's Happening? Why is he not allowed to have flour in his bakery, isn't that the basis of his work? Why today?

         Pulling him away, I had a huge gulp in my throat, and I had a pang of conscious for no real reason,I just seriously felt sad for him!
The mood was already set off, everyone was busy thinking and guessing why and how while I sit silently trying to see the positive in this situation.. Of course, I couldn't!
Madam Mary approaches me and rubs my arm with a cute smile, I looked at her and asked "we can't continue the party, can we? " All innocent but she shook her head in denial , " That would be disrespectful, sweetie " She replied... I'm really disappointed and sad for the both us, me and Mr. Yop, I didn't even see him eat his cake yet, our luck is truly bad!

"Everybody, please enjoy your cake and beverages and have a great time, the party is over, see you next year! " Madam Mary positively announced fast as I swallowed a huge gulp of sadness, my party was already almost over... Couldn't they wait?
I feel like I shouldn't wait for anything more anymore from this world, I understood already that this world will always treat me tacky like I'm an obsolete, so hoping for good will be motto and not hoping for the best anymore!

It was already 1pm, I never went home that early and I actually didn't want to and thankfully Job is always there in the bad times, " Zayzo, this party was the best one I've attended in this town, and I wish I got these many gifts on my last birthday, anyways, let me help you take these beautiful gifts home since they are many " Job excitedly spoke with a lot of arm movements, I looked at him cold and said " How? How could we leave when it's the last hours of Madam Mary? My eyesight need to get full of her, which is impossible! ".
One single warm tear drew down my red fluffy cheeks as I blurted my feelings to poor Job who was very shocked as his jaw dropped 23 m down, it took him awhile to process because after 3 minutes of us standing still, he shouted " SHE IS LEAVING? WHY? ", He turned his head so fast, I think he lost his neck, and looked at Madam Mary who was pushing the tables to their correct order, he walked fast to her and had a all caps chat with her, but I couldn't hear, I was too busy thinking what will I do tomorrow after my shifts, since I can't visit her no more.
Minutes passed like hours while I waited for their chat to end so they can wake me up from my day nightmares, I glanced Madam Mary looking with sympathy towards me but I just couldn't move a muscle, Fake Job approaches me with a happy march and grabbed my arm and pulled me to help reorganizing the area how it should be on normal days , and while I was pushing everything to their correct arrangement, lots of costumers made me do lots of work which was really appreciatable specially hearing them telling this time 'Happy Birthday🎂🎉🎁' instead of a dry 'Thank You ' which was very pleasing! I'm a tiny but glad right now and I'm very thankful to have Job here during this time.
I feel very lucky to have people who made the time to make a poor girl like me extremely happy, how pure are they? Which sometimes also makes me wonder a lot of questions like 'are they nice to me because they like me? ' or  ' are they nice to me because they feel sorry for me? '  and most of the times the second question gets the higher chance of having the answer 'Yes', let's stop that thought and stay positive!

       TICK , The plain old white wall clock announced it was 3pm, which could only mean one thing today..... Unfortunately, Goodbye Madam Mary.
I was sitting on a table flipping some calendars so I could see the cst photos placed next to every month, killing time in other words, while Madam Mary was having a tea date with my manager and Job is already best friends with Isaac and Amy, Elma left home since our shift is done, everyone seemed to be having fun and I sure was but everytime I remember this is the last hour, I get mad and I tell myself "go over there, talk to her! You won't see her again! Get all the advices you could get! " But I was too afraid to walk, there was a great possibility I wouldn't hear anything she says, I'll just cry! I'm not being dramatic, she is the first and only person who accepted me as a person and I have to acclimate to my new destiny.
"Sweetieeee" Madam Mary called me, I walked across the restaurant Family Section and stood in front of her, looked at her and smiled, I thought what if I just blurted some lies, so she can leave this with no remorse so I said excitedly whole doing jumping jacks "OH MY GOODNESS! MADAM MARY! 9 more hours and you'll be in your son's house, wow! Times does fly! I'm so excited, make sure to send your family pics and especially the baby pics to Sierra so she can show all your happy moment! " I then looked at Job and fakely said " Hey Job! She is going to be a Grandma again! WOHOOO! ", I faked a happy dance, but I think I over did it, I'm just not good at these because Job rubbed my back and smiled all pitiful but I tried to fight back that dark ambience by squeaking excitedly, but for some reason, everyone is so quiet, and calm and the only sound you could hear is the fork noises the two costumers were making while eating some Pizza, it was weird since I'm the only noisy person here....
Madam Mary smiled and said " Zay, I want to tell one last thing " This sentence gave me a massive gulp that I couldn't swallow, she continued " Humans are such wonderful creatures whom are capable of doing exquisite things but they can never fake an emotion so good, and if they did,they are not humans anymore, make sure to know that expressing feelings is the most natural human movement that you should never played with, and these expressions cause tension throughout the face as one part of the brain tries to control an expression caused by another part of the brain. These expressions also rely on antagonistic muscle groups, pulling parts of the face in opposing directions, which is very hard to fake or change or even stop! ", that was deep and I didn't understand half of it but she is so nice! You know, most people get bored from these lectures, but for some reason I get so happy when she says these things, it signifies that she cares about me and I'm happy for that!
I nodded my head agreeing her, as if I could ever disagree with her wisdom, Job claps his hand so fast with a shocked expression drawn on his face, " What? " I asked, he replied "Madam Mary, she is amazing! " He then looks at her and says " Wow! ", I think pointless overreacting is an inherited gene in our family.
" I'm not done yet little man! " Madam Mary jokingly said as she looked at me again and continued with a smile  "For an example, sadness often involves both an expression of sadness and the desire to control that expression, Dr. Mark Frank, professor in the Department of Communication at the University of Buffalo said wisely 'the tug of war over your face creates the quivering lip,' Which is very true to be honest! ".
" So, you mean always blurt your true feelings that could benefit or hurt others no matter what?" Job asked, she looked at cutely and replied "No, definitely not, sometimes you have to keep your emotions when they is no positive use from blurting them out, and specially if the person you're speaking to hates you or doesn't care much, it gets dangerous! " She warned us!