Eleven

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"I don't wanna be here anymore." I whisper.

"Alright. Let's go to my place then." Damien says, clearly not noting the double meaning there, and taking my hand, helping me up. I grab a bag and put some clothes in it before following him. He informs a crying Willow, who's in the arms of Will, that we were going out, and steers me to his bike.

As the free flying hits me again, I cry to myself, tears dropping against his leather jacket.

Couldn't he understand?

All I knew was pain.

Pain was I, and I was pain. We shared each other, mind and body. Me and pain were made for each other like puzzle peices, and that sickened me. I loved pain, I hated pain. I loved bringing the knife to my wrist, but I hated the ache in my chest, like drowning.

He got off the bike, and picked me up silently. I get it. I didn't even trust my own legs to be strong enough. My knees are far too weak.

His mom was at the door when we got in, her eyes misty, on the news, my story being told. I watch blankly with no emotion. "Winter, I'm so sorry, hun." she says softly, grabbing my hand from my stomach. I nod.

"It's okay." I whisper.

"No, it is not. Don't worry, Winter, I'm going to make sure that man rots in hell for what he did to you." Damien's father says, anger and determination set in his eyes. I nod, my lip quivering. "You can stay here is you like." he says, softly this time.

"Thank you." I whisper, and snuggle my head closer into Damien to block out the rest.

Two weeks later.

My bruises have faded to almost nothing, the worst one still left on my thigh. It didn't hurt, but it was just pretty visible.

I had learned how to smile again, although it hurt.

You may be thinking; 'oh yay! She's happy now! She's not gonna kill herself!' 

Nah. I'm still going to do it. In fact, with my dad in prison, my depression had only increased for some reason, and then today came.

It was Christmas.

And yesterday, at 11:59, my dad had been eating cookies in the jail cafeteria, wallowing in self-hatred, when a gaurd passed him. My dad stole his gun, placed it to his head, and pulled the trigger before anyone could even comprehend what was happening.

I was sitting on Damien's couch, watching the news when it came up. No one was in the room, they had all been hovering at the doorway when they heard his name. It felt like a blow to my stomach was made, and I hunched over in pain. Damien tried to hug me, but I had pushed him away and run up the stairs. He tried to follow, but his father held him back.

Me? I had gone into the private bathroom they'd given me and slit my wrists.

Damien had kicked the door open when I wouldn't open it, and found me in the corner of the room, hunched in a ball, blood dripping from my wrists. His face showed his heartbreak.

And then, December 31st came.


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Last few chapters are short. Sorry bout that.

Updating VERY soon.

What do you think she means by December 31st came???

XoXo

-Elisia

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