Many years ago, when I was nine years old, I spoke to you for the very first time. I was nervous and scared, and unsure of myself but knew that if anyone could love me it'd be the two twins in my life. One loved soccer, and being outside, the other loved books and taking her car for a drive, together the gave me, wisdom and love, supported me when things got undoubtably rough.
Six years went by, and on january ninth, I heard from one of those twins. My life had just begun, moved to a new place and felt I could never win. She asked how old i was now, and how the years treated me kind, I told her it wasn't the same when I had to leave her behind. The other twin, I haven't spoken to since, but I heard from a little bird, that she was pregnant with a set of twins. I wasn't sure how to feel, weather it was a good thing or not, but maybe it would pay off to be an aunt better forgot.
I reconnected with that part of me, the one I left behind at nine years had set me free. I grew up and grew old, I became happy as I was told. I had a father worth loving and life worth protecting, and they didn't have much of a part in that reflecting. Maybe it was time, to let them in. maybe allowing myself to grow will let me win.
I love those twins. I love their smiles and hugs and whim. I don't get to see them in person, for now it's all on them. But I promise one day, when I'm older still, I will meet those special twins, and my nieces/nephews and finally feel what it's like to have my own free will.
