Til You Come Back to Me Again - A Love Story

Alone

Alone

I passed the days and weeks by taking daily walks along the beach, JKD workouts a couple of mornings a week, ballet on the hardwood dining room floor, and playing a rented violin and cello. Every now and then, pain forced me to sit those things out, but usually it wasn't for long.

Angelo and I talked every night, sometimes for hours. I loved the sound of his voice and I always asked him where he was in the house so I could picture him there. I missed him so much, and we stayed on the phone as long as possible. There were long moments when we didn't even speak, we just let ourselves be together, even though there were miles between us.

* * *

Sitting on the beach, I stared out at the ocean, listening to the roar of the rolling waves, and as usual, thought about Angelo. We had been apart for a month. I thought being away from him would get a little easier, but that was impossible, and I was glad, even though it hurt. I welcome that kind of pain.

But there was another kind of pain that I could no longer ignore. I had an appointment scheduled for the following day with a doctor Sylvia suggested. She had known the woman for years and they were good friends. When I called the day before, I made Sylvia promise that she wouldn't say anything to Angelo. It may not be anything serious and I didn't want him to worry. But to be truthful, though I was trying to remain positive, I was worried about what I would find out. What if the problem was something that affected us having children? How would Angelo take that kind of news? I knew he loved me and that it wouldn't change things between us, but it would still be disappointing not having a child of his own. Then again, we could always adopt.

Chastising myself for my negative thoughts, I attempted to clear my mind. It took some doing, but I managed.

However, as I knelt by my bed that night to pray, a voice whispered to my heart, "Be strong," and then and there, something inside me knew.

* * *

Almost two weeks later, my fears were confirmed, and the doctor's words left no room for denial. That night, I cried myself to sleep, my heart breaking for Angelo, and for me.

* * *

"How are you today?" Angelo asked me when I called him the next day.

I swallowed hard, not sure how to answer. "I'm okay."

"You don't sound okay. What's wrong, dolcezza?"

"I need to come home early. I'm flying in tonight. Can you meet me?"

"Of course, I can. But what is it?"

"I'll tell you when I come."

"You've got me worried, babe."

"I'm sorry, Angelo. It's not something I want to say over the phone. I really need to wait until I see you." I tried to disguise the emotion in my voice, but it wasn't working very well and I could hear the anxiousness in his.

"All right."

I told him my flight number and the arrival time.

"Angelo?"

"Yes?"

"I love you."

"I love you too. I will see you tonight."

* * *

When I passed through the security area and saw Angelo, I rushed through the crowd, flinging myself into his embrace. My body trembled as he held me close and I moved my arms from around his waist and circled his neck, clinging to him like a lifeline. His embrace tightened.