Kanan:
"So master are you sure you want to do this? You might not like what you see." Ezra says.
"Ezra, it may only be a reflection. Especially to you, but this maybe the only way I get to see the one thing I want to see right now." I answer.
"Yes, but you'll be seeing how I see myself. Kanan you've never asked me to do this before. Are you sure you want our first attempt to be a mirror?"
"Maybe I need to see how you view yourself. Ezra I want to see the hope in them again."
"And what if it's not there?" He ask. "It isn't" he mumbles under his breath. I pull his face up to look at me in the eyes.
"Ezra look at me. It will be there. It has to be. If you lose hope..." I trail off. I can sense his pain and I let him drop his look.
"Let's just get this over with." He says. He then stands in front of the mirror. He takes a deep breath and closes his eyes to better connect with the force.
"Ok, now open them." I instruct. He does so.
Ezra was right I didn't like what I saw. Ezra's eyes didn't look the same as I remembered them. Sure they were the same Royal blue that almost looked Violet in certain lighting. Eyes like no other.
Ezra's royal blue eyes looked as if he was dying in pain. They were blood shot and had dark bags under them. Half closed as if wishing to go to sleep and never wake up. They even look directly at themselves. Instead they looked off in any other Direction. Ezra's eyes looked much older than him. They even looked to old for me.
The things these eyes have seen! They have seen things no one let alone a child should have to see. Again Ezra was right. I didn't like seeing the world through his eyes. It mad me mad that he saw himself this way. In his eyes he looked dead. In a way he was. He had told me so himself. His eyes definitely reflected this.
What made things worse was that this was only a reflection. Everyone else but me could look into Ezra's eyes and see this ten times worse. That's what hurts me the most.
I turn Ezra around to look at me. I finally get to see myself for a second before he puts his shield back up to keep me out. He doesn't look at the cloth over my eyes at all.
"Ezra..." I whisper. My hand covers my mouth. I can't believe what I just saw.
"I told you might not like what you saw." He says.
"I'm not sure weather to be concerned or not. Ezra, do you not think anything about yourself. The entire time I was in your mind you were silent. I never heard a single thought. You even looked like you were dying."
"I think I already have. I looked into the mirror and I don't see myself anymore."
"Your right that isn't you. I don't know who that was but it was not the Ezra Bridger that I call my Padawan. He was to stubborn to this happen. My Ezra was full of hope and always wanted to protect others no matter what. He was willing to die for this crew. He was to stubborn to be captured by the empire..."
"I still am. Kanan, before I joined this crew. The empire took everything from me. At first I was scared. Eventually I just got angry at them. Then I hated them."
"You were on the path to the dark side." I say starting to understand something about him.
"Then you found me. Kanan you saved me. I had lost trust in humanity and you showed me that kindness still existed. You showed me how to be myself when the galaxy didn't want to be. I started fighting all the emotions I had felt in the past. However the dark side wasn't through with me."
"I know and staying in the light is hard as it is. It's so easy to hide in the dark." I say pulling him into a hug.
"Maul reminded me of all that. By blinding you he caused me a lot of pain. Then Vader almost killed me. Ahsoka saved me but look what it cost her. Now I'm suffering. I don't want to fall. The dark side nearly killed me."
"Now you're scared your going to fall. Your scared of the dark."
"Yes, every night I go back there when I sleep. That's why I look like that. No I don't think much about myself anymore. I just see someone I'll never be now."
"I've been there. It took me forever to see myself again. Actually I didn't see myself until I met you. Ezra I can't protect you forever. Not even from yourself. Your path is up to you. I can make one promise though. If you do fall I'll never stop fighting to bring you back. I pulled you out of the darkness and into the light. I'll do it again if I have to but it's up to you to stay out of dark."
"Thank you master."
"Quick question, do you look at anyone in the eyes anymore?"
"No, not since you lost your sight. I can't look anyone in the eyes anymore."
The next morning I wake up. Everyone's laughing at something when I walk in. Except Ezra.
"What's so funny?" I ask.
Ezra let's his shields down so I can see. He looks at me.
On the white cloth covering my eyes Sabine has drawn two aqua marine eyes. There the same shape as my eyes. She drew my eyes.
"Sabine!" I say mad. Then I hear Ezra's thoughts.
"She did it so I could look you in the eyes again. So I wouldn't feel so guilty. She overheard our talk yesterday and she tried to fix it."
Now I can't be mad at her.
"Thanks for everything." I say.
"No problem Kanan. We all missed them." She says.
* Guys yesterday I posted my fan theory. It explains why I'm going the way I am in all my stories. For those of you worried I'll make Ezra fall you might want to read it. You will even find out who I think Rey's parents are and how Luke got his green lightsaber. I'm still working on it. This story here was inspired by a fan fic called eyes. The last part was inspired by some fan art of Kanan yelling at Sabine for drawing eyes on him. I've started a drawing of Kanan's eyes cloudy. As always mtfbwy
* Cass
