Doppelgangers (a Batman Alternate Universe story)

Home?

Chapter 2: Home?

"Master Wayne?" Alfred asked, reaching for her friend's hand. The wind and fresh air had revived Alfred to some extent and she was feeling less sick and beaten.

Bruce didn't respond, just stared ahead at the clouds as Superman flew them through the sky.

"Master Wayne? Are you going to be alright?" She asked again, leaning to the side enough to reach her liege's knee.

Bruce slowly turned her head, her face pale and drawn, to Alfred. "Bacon..." She whispered.

Alfred nodded, understanding. "Yes, I know Master Wayne. But we'll get it fixed. I bet you'll think of even more things to add to it when they rebuild it this time."

"Bacon." Bruce said again softly, looking to her hands.

"Exactly." Alfred nodded. "We just have to be glad that we're alive."

Then Bruce looked up, and there was a different gleam in her eyes. "Bacon." She growled menacingly, pointing downward, towards where Superman was beneath the car, carrying it as he flew.

Alfred shook her head and frowned. "No. You know that is no way to be. Forgive and forget, it was an accident."

"Bacon." Bruce hissed, slamming a fist into her open palm, her eyes narrowed in hatred.

Before Alfred could say anything to that, they began to descend and Gotham, the smoggy, filthy, garbage pit that it was, began to grow beneath them.

"Home..." Alfred whispered lovingly.

With a loud creak, the crumpled sports car and its two passengers were deposited on the lawn of Wayne Manor. Alfred crawled out and felt the relief of being back on solid ground.

"Well, here you are, ladies." Superman said as he came around the vehicle. "Again, real sorry about what happened, I was only trying to help. I hope you girls heal up fast."

"Yes, thank you very much, Superman." Alfred said, straightening her dress. She glanced worriedly to the side to see Bruce giving Superman the most evil, unfriendly grin she'd ever seen. Bruce looked like she was this close to going all Charles Manson on Kal. "Yes, I do believe we should get back inside, it was nice seeing you." She said, grabbing Bruce's shoulders.

"Of course," Superman said. "But before I go, I don't think I caught your names."

Alfred looked back at him and squinted. "Excuse me?"

"Your names, I didn't catch your names."

"Ohhh..." Bruce said creepily. "You'll be catching something else real quick. Perhaps a case of kryptonite poisoning?"

Superman looked kind of freaked. "Um...never mind." He said, quickly soaring away.

"Master Wayne, really. Grow up and get over it." Alfred said harshly as she led her friend up the gravel drive towards the mansion.

Bruce did not respond as they made their way up the stone steps to the great carved wooden doors of the Wayne household.

Alfred swung the door open and wiped her shoes on the mat. "I know just the fix. We'll light those bacon scented candles you like and have a spot of tea. That will make everything seem better."

Bruce came in and shut the door. "I desire nothing short of actual bacon, Alfred." Bruce finally replied as she kicked off her shoes and pulled down her pants.

"So be it." Alfred sighed as she patted her hair in an attempt to fix it. "Just don't come running to me when you have colon cancer."

"Ex-cuse me." Someone suddenly exclaimed with shock and snobbery.