Doppelgangers (a Batman Alternate Universe story)

Bat vs. Batman

"So...Bruce is it?" Bruce Wayne asked the formerly pant-less young woman who was walking beside him up the stairs.

She groaned. "Ugg. Yes, but if you're Bruce too then it's just stupid. Bruce-Bruce-Bruce. Enough. Call me by my middle name, Ophelia."

Bruce's eyebrows rose. "That's my grandmother's name."

Ophelia squinted at him like she was questioning his level of intellect. "Yeah, mine too."

"So," Bruce continued, his expression becoming increasingly sober. "If you're the Alternate Universe version of me, like my butler would have me believe, then tell me something. Why did you take off your pants as soon as you entered my mansion?"

Ophelia shook her head at him. "Our mansion, Bruce. Our mansion. When I'm home I feel like being comfortable and losing the pants sometimes. Haven't you ever wanted to do that?"

Bruce secretly did, but his butler did not allow him to do such things. Bruce frowned with jealousy. "I'll be asking the questions here. Your favorite color?"

"Black. Yellow's my second fave though." She stated simply as they entered the library.

"And what did you want to be when you grew up? Before your parents died." Bruce suddenly reconsidered and wrinkled his brow. "Your parents are dead, right?"

"Yes. I wanted to be a doctor. Still did after they died for quite a while. Then I realized that they never would have needed medical attention if that thug had never been able to attack them." Ophelia strolled right over to the smaller bookcase, slid down the hidden switch on the side and began heaving the thing open. "Then I wanted to be a detective or a policewoman. But after all--"

"What are you doing?!" Bruce demanded with shock in his eyes and tone.

Ophelia had already pulled the thing halfway open, revealing the dank cement steps that led into the darkness. "Going down to the Batcave. I thought that's where we were headed." She looked at him. "You did know this thing was here right?" she said with contempt.

Bruce scoffed. "Alright, so you know where the Batcave entrance is. That doesn't prove anything." He said, brushing past her and heading down the stairs.

"I'm not interested in proving anything to you." Ophelia said as she followed him. "This is just wasting my time. What I need to do is find out what happened and how I can get back to my universe. I thought we were coming down here to get some equipment and do some tests."

"I don't think you're from an alternate universe." Bruce said as he made it to the landing. "Let's make that absolutely clear." He pinned her with a cold gaze. "But, if you were what Alfred says, you wouldn't be from an alternate universe, you'd be from a different Earth."

"A different Earth?"

"Which is impossible, because people don't just jump Earths unwittingly." He growled, going to his lab equipment.

"You know, I'm starting to think there is no way you could be me." Ophelia said with narrowed eyes at her counterpart. "Because I'm nowhere near as much of an asshole as you are. And also, if I were a man, I wouldn't be a lowland gorilla with possible Klinefelter syndrome. I'd be like Charlie Day; awesome, small, and have a weird voice."

Bruce did not respond, only pulled a test tube out of his instruments and thrust it in front of her. "Spit in this."

Ophelia cleared her throat and spat loudly into the container. Bruce took it and began walking off a bit.

"Hey, what are you going to do with that?" She asked, following him. "Are you telling me you have something that can read DNA in here?"

"I'll give it to the Batcomputer and it will analyze it..." Bruce looked at her for a long moment. "With science." He pulled a tray out of the large tower and set the tube inside. Slamming it shut, he turned to the Batcomputer screen. "Computer, analyze."