Doppelgangers (a Batman Alternate Universe story)

Presenting...Barry Allen

Chap 5: Presenting...Barry Allen

So our Bruce and Alfred made their way to Central City in the Batjet. Not before stopping at Big Belly Burger in Starling though, because why the hell not. Afterward they continued to the CCPD. Apparently, from what Man-Bruce told her before they left, on this Earth, Barry was head of the Police Science division at Central City.

After asking an officer to take them up, they were led to a door upstairs and left to knock on it. They did, and Barry's voice called out from inside for them to come in. They entered to find themselves in a spacious room filled with tables that were covered in computers, notes, and other odd specimen. And in the center off it all, working at a desk, was Barry Allen.

"Oh my god..." Bruce whispered as the young man rose and came around to greet them. It was like Barry Allen had gotten fused with the 11th Doctor Who and...she liked it a lot.

"Hi! I'm Barry Allen!"

"Oh my..." Alfred said. "Oh dear..."

"Are you alright?" He asked, looking concerned as he reached them.

"Oh yes," Alfred said, swallowing. "It's just that you really remind me of someone."

Barry nodded. "I get that a lot."

"Homina-homina-homina!!" Bruce cried, grabbing Alfred's arm and staring with huge eyes at Barry.

"I also get that...wait, no I don't get that ever." He said, looking confused.

It was a good thing that Martian Manhunter wasn't along, because what was going on in Bruce's brain was really...really...really bad.

"Sweeeeeeetie!" Bruce cried out like River Song from Doctor Who. She ran to him and ran a hand down his arm coyly

"Um...who are you?" He asked.

"You haven't met me yet, but I've met you." Bruce said sort of Britishly, clasping her hands and swinging her shoulders back and forth like a shy child.

"Sir, enough with the Doctor Who references!" Alfred hissed before turning to the alternate Earth Barry. "Pleased to meet you Master Allen." She extended her hand, which he took. "I am Frieda Pennyworth and this is—"

"Bruce Wayne. CEO of Wayne Enterprises, how you doin'?" Bruce said with a wiggle to her eyebrows.

Barry looked confused. "Pardon me? Bruce Wayne?"

Alfred came forward and pushed Bruce back. "We are from an alternate Earth and we accidentally came here because of this thing." She said, presenting the jellyfoo to him.

"Really?" He said, eyes widening as he accepted the towel wrapped bundle. "You two are from a different Earth? But...wait...an Earth in which Bruce Wayne—"

"And Alfred." Bruce said, pointing to her friend.

"...and Alfred are women? Holy cow am I a woman too?!" He asked excitedly.

"What?" Bruce made a face. "No. You're a dude."

"Oh..." Barry said, his face falling. After a moment he got over it. "Welcome to Earth Two then! I wonder which one you guys are from? I've never heard of your Earth!"

Alfred shook her head. "We don't know, we just want to go home. The Bruce Wayne of this Earth told us that you might be able to help us get back by fixing our jellyfoo." She pointed to the bundle still in his arms.

He scurried to a worktable and uncovered it. "What is this thing?"

Alfred followed him over. "It's a high-tech resonating quadril...quadrilateral de—oh screw is I'm too tired." She huffed.

"It's a high-tech resonating quadrilateral defunktoring six-cylinder jellyfoo." Bruce said, finishing the description. "But we just call it jellyfoo for short."

"Where did you get it? Tell me everything." He said seriously, turning and pushing up his glasses.

"I'll let Master Wayne explain, I need a glass of water." Alfred said, feeling quite drained from all their adventures.

"Sure. There's a mini fridge in the snack room, go nuts." Barry said.

So while Alfred was gone, Bruce explained everything that had happened to them.

"Wow. What a story." Barry said, gazing off and looking a little retarded from his brain being overloaded.

Bruce couldn't handle it any more. It was too much. Regular Barry was hot, but this...this nerdy version of him was delicious in a way Bruce had never thought possible. It's not cheating, he's the same person!

"So, hot stuff. Think you can fix it?" Bruce crooned, her left hand sliding down his chest and then suddenly gripping onto his suit coat tight. She yanked him down a foot, so that he was more at her level, her eyes staring into his. "Fix it for little ol me?"

Barry swallowed hard, his mouth open in a gawk, completely taken by surprise. "Uh...well...I..." He stuttered, his face turning red.

Suddenly Bruce felt a shift in the air. Her 6th sense fired and she whipped around her arm, stabbing her elbow behind her and into a man's gut, then slamming her fist upward and into his jaw.

The man grunted in pain and stumbled backward. Bruce swiveled, reluctantly releasing Barry to see Batman stumbling back.

"Jesus Christ! What are you doing here?" She demanded.

"Always expect the unexpected..." He groaned, an arm wrapped around his core as he retreated back to a darkened corner. "This doesn't prove anything..."

As soon as Batman disappeared, Bruce turned back to Barry, who was staring with huge eyes at the dark corner he'd slipped into. "What just happened?" He squeaked.

"Don't mind him, he's just in denial." She said, shaking her head. "Now where were we?"

"Uh...well," Barry took a good step back "You were asking if I would fix your...jellyfoo."

Bruce blinked a few times coquettishly. "And?"

"I'll try." He said, shrugging. "I don't know what I can do. I mean, it is alien tech and I have no idea how it works, but I'll take a look at it. I can't promise anything."

"Thank you for your help, anything you can do I will be very grateful for. I'm sorry I don't have any way to pay you for your time. I don't have any money or—"

"No, no, no." Barry said, shaking his head. "No payment is required. It's an honor to get to work on something so magical and unknown, let alone to meet new people from a different Earth! It's all rather exciting!"

"Still," Bruce said, looking pouty. "I'd like to give you something for your trouble, even if you can't get it to work." She took a step closer to him. "I don't know how long we'll be here, but I say we make the most of it..."

Barry's eyes bulged and he backed up against a worktable.

"I'm back, did you figure anything out?" Alfred said, reentering the room.

Bruce cursed silently to herself.

"Yes." Barry said, looking at Alfred as if she was a lifesaver thrown to a drowning man. "I'll work on it through the night. I'd let you guys stay with us but I'm not sure my wife, Iris, would be very understanding off all this."

All the blood in Bruce's face drained. "Wife?" she squeaked. He's married? To Iris?!

"Oh, that's alright." Alfred said with a tired smile. "I already used the phone in the rec room to call Kara. She still has the same number! Anyways, I explained the situation to her and she says she'll be glad to let us stay the night."

"That's great then!" Barry said, patting the jellyfoo. "I'll call Kara if I find anything!"

"Come along, Master Wayne." Alfred said, taking her liege by the shoulders. "You've had a long day."

"Bacon..." was all Bruce could whisper.