I'm Sorry | Jackson Wang

9: Sick

Jackson

I lay her on the couch after taking her shoes off of her.
"Okay, blanket... pillow..." I walk around the living room looking for the items. I scoff. "Why in the fuck can't I find a blanket and a pillow in this house?"
I look down the hall to my left, wondering if I should go look for the stuff down there.
They wouldn't mind if I just grabbed a blanket and a pillow for their friend, right? I mean, they live together..
I take my first step down the hall, and rationalize that they'd want me to take care of their friend.
When I look at the doors, there are little plaques on them with the girl's names written in different styles. Yeeun and Tae, Kai and Sulli, and... Luna, Bora and Heemin. Here it is. Might as well just get her her own things, right?
I place my hand on the door handle, turning it and stepping into the room.
It's so... diverse. The room in itself is pretty large, a bed on each wall and a large vanity with three stools tucked neatly under it on the only wall that doesn't have a bed.
Each girls personality is displayed on their side of the room. Bora's is pastel purple and cream, very plushy and tumblr princess-y.
Heemin's is all deep blues, indigos and burgundy, posters plastered to the walls, Nirvana, Blue Man Group, EXO, BigBang, Rocky Horror Picture Show... her bed isn't made, either.
And Luna's; it looks like a mini version of her old bedroom in California, cream comforter, black sheets, 18 pillows (okay, I'm over exaggerating, but she does have like six), blankets thrown all over her bed, perfectly matching the color of her bed or her walls, because she's a perfectionist, and a plushie.
Curious about her plush, I walk over to her bed and pull it out from underneath her gray tie-blanket.
When I get a good look at it, I realize that it's the "cow ball" I won for her at a fair in senior year of high school. On the night of prom was the opening of some fair she'd always go to when she was little, and she was just about to cry when she found out she couldn't go. So, I surprised her and took her halfway through the dance. I packed extra clothes, and at the dance made sure I got our pictures, our song played, and then wisked her off to the fair.
She had told me that I was the best boyfriend in the world that night..
I shake my head to clear it of those thoughts.
I came here for a blanket and a pillow, so that's what I'm gonna get. I'm in, I'm out.
I toss her plushie back onto her bed and grab the gray blanket and the pillow on the top of her stack and exit the room.
When I get back to the couch, Luna's still sleeping peacefully.
I sigh. Why you of all people, Lulu? I walk over to her and lift her head a bit, propping it up with the pillow and tossing the blanket over her.
She looks so peaceful... too bad it's only because of the alcohol.
I check my phone to see its almost 2 AM.
"Shit, I better leave right now.." I look back at Luna, taking a half a step back, and gently run my fingers through her hair, letting them linger there for awhile.
Bringing myself back to reality, I pull my hand from her, but only to have my wrist grabbed, a startled yelp coming from me.
Luna looks up at me. "Will you stay her with me?"
I'm inclined to accept her proposal, but I know it's not for the best.
"Luna, I don't think it's a good i-"
"Please." Her voice quivers at the end, making me think she's going to cry, and her watery eyes aren't helping, either.
I sigh, giving in to her pleading stare. She wiggles back into the couch more when I pull off my jacket.
"Lu, I'm gonna sleep on the floor."
"No~ come up here.. I miss you.." she trails off.
"Luna.."
"Please?" Her natural pout just pulls me right back in.
Ugh, what's one fucking time, right?
I sigh inwardly and crawl under the blanket, snugly pressed into her.
"Now go to sleep, okay?"
"Can you sing for me? Like old times?"
I'm never gonna get out of this, am I?
I nod reluctantly. "But you gotta promise you're gonna go to sleep though, okay?"
She nods and nuzzles her face into my shirt.

"It digs deep inside
Your actions, the way you talk, every little thing becomes crystal clear
Why does my foolish heart do this
Why am I hurting more
I don't get it at all
Your callous expression hurts me
I'm in a lot of pain

The days I spend without you, they hurt so much
How did you and I end up like it, it hurts so much..."