My soldier, Her Irish Angel

Chapter 13

"I am homesick for a place I am not sure even exists. One where my heart is full. My body loved. And my soul understood."

-Anonymous

I was about to walk out when he said "You forgot the nickname"

"Leprechaun," I say.

"No, that's overused come on I know you're a creative one just use your head", Niall says.

"G-nah forget it"

"Say it" I turn to see Niall pleading me so I do it, fine angel, you win.

"Guardian"...

Four's Pov

He made a confused expression, as I continued to walk out the door until I stopped. I turned towards Niall "Hey uh, I'll be right next door since my library is the door to the right so if you need anything just knock,...goodnight" I mutter the last part quickly and go into my library. I take my cloak off and sigh...wait a minute. Oh, my gosh Rufio! I instantly flash in front of his tent to see Felix leaving. He looked at me and smiled "He's fine, go to sleep...Soldier girl" I chuckle at the nickname he had for me. "Ok, Fellie I will try."

I flash the back to the treehouse me and I turn in for the night. I go to my library, and I lay down on my bear skinned rug. I remember it was my first kill in the Island so I choose to remember it by making a feast out of the creature and taking the skin as a nice place to rest my head so it is a win-win situation. Though after the bear kill Peter and I decided it was dangerous to have such with inexperienced hunters so we magically brought them back to the enchanted forest. I look up to see the light blaring into my eyes with a snap of my fingers it turns off. Ok, I promised Felix that I would try to sleep, so I close my eyes. I try to dream a good dream. Sadly, that was when everything starts to get ugly. I start to remember the reason why I came here. I open my eyes with a sigh, why can't I escape my daydreams and go to my reality? Neverland isn't a daydream it's my reality, but when it was my daydream I was happy not hurt, alone, and afraid. Yes, I am scared everyone has a fear I just don't show it as much.

I just end up putting my cloak back on grab a book and go to Peter and I's thinking tree. Peter was already there, playing his pipe. I climb up feeling the gentle breeze through my hair. I sit right next to him seeing the same view, it was towards my treehouse that we built together. I sigh "Couldn't sleep either Pancake?"

"No, but I guess it's the same for you" I stay silent since he already knew the answer.

I let a few tears fall as he begins to play the flute "It's alright just sing the pain away you know like you used to do when you were fourteen."

I shook my head "I'm not her anymore remember I threw that part of me away"

"You know that little girl that was nice, sweet, innocent, kind...but she was also smart, daring, always looking for an adventure, she was bra-"

"She wasn't brave if anything she was a coward that wasn't able to be strong if anything she was the purest evil"

"Four-"

"No, she was! She had to be! Because-" I pause since my voice cracked i "she must have done something bad, something wrong if all those bad things happen to her. Bad things don't happen to good people, good people don't get hurt repeatedly until they are broken until there is nothing left only shattered pieces that can't ever be fixed"

"Four it's okay"

Peter hugs me and holds me close I cry right into his shoulder. He then let's go when I calm down, he starts to play a sad song I believe in the other world it's called "Fix you" I just don't know who the author is. I sing it and realize how much it relates to me, cause I am broken, Peter and I are, and everyone who comes in our little circle tries to fix us. The thing is they only made us feel a bit better, they couldn't fix us though, it's probably because I am too broken to fix. Or it's that I was just never meant to be happy.