Tacenda

Morning Sips

I wake up early, over an hour before you have to be at work

I straighten the suit sitting on the chair next to your side of the bed, prepared to be worn for a busy day of meetings

I go to the kitchen and set the day's  newspaper on top of your placemat

I lazily begin to make your morning coffee

One milk

Two sugar

Piping hot

In the favorite mug you got from Rome when we were young

With hand painted flowers to match the ones at Villa d'Este - your favorite garden there

I place the mug in front of your chair and sit across the table

The mug and I wait patiently

10 minutes
20 minutes
30 minutes

Your coffee has gone cold and so have I

I tell it good morning, but it says nothing back

The purple flowers wink at me charmingly

I hate them

I get up from the table to rinse the still full cup

Muddied water sloshes over the rim, but I don't care

The flowers stare at me

Tauntingly, like they're challenging me

Daring me to not forget you - to keep loving you

I smash the ceramic as hard as I can against the side of the sink

Now what was once beautiful, lays scattered in broken shards

You loved that mug

And that garden

And me

So I scattered your ashes there when you passed

I thought you'd like that

I hope the flowers look as beautiful from heaven as they did in person when we visited so many years ago