Tacenda

The Underside of the Moon

I have always found that a fire is brightest at the final, fleeting instant before it is put out

When flames fight asphyxiation - wild and desperate

And fiery, red tongues lick their last dregs of life out of the air 

Until darkness swallows the last whisper of smoke 

And we are left with the inevitable fate of nothing

The sky was on fire when you said you didn’t love me

Blazing amber in that perfect moment before its surrender to night

I burned with it

Starting at my ears scorched by your words

Then spreading swiftly to consume my blistering body

Above and within me, tortured scarlet bled into bold, optimistic peach 

But indigo began to peer around the darkening edges of gold

The sun and I fought for the colors to stay

My breaking heart poured its own hue into the sky searching for mercy

But all was easily washed away by the cruel twilight

I felt my body grow cold

You were gone by the time the last quivering vestiges of hopeful light were lost

And now the moon and I are left all alone to drown together in the night sky

He laughs with me at the follies of humans in love

And he does not question when I cry 

The night is spent in pain

But a special kind that is cool against my tear stained cheeks

The moon warns me that the sun’s light will soon return

I beg him not to let it

To keep me safe in this peaceful darkness forever

Far away from the searing heat of love unrequited

He agrees to help me

I watch him intensely and begin to see him shift

He is growing 

Round and swollen he expands into the space around him

As if the emptiness of night had been created just for his use

His smooth surface swallows every corner of the sky

Then begins to press into the walls of Earth’s atmosphere as well

Ballooning into every crevice, the wave of silver sweeps toward me

Finally his presence explodes into the space above and around me

The underside of the moon is cold and still

I can feel him pressing into me

I close my eyes and think of you

All the heat I will no longer be forced to carry inside my body

This love will no longer burn me from the inside out

Continuing to inflate, the moon flattens me against his great mass

I am thankful as I feel my bones begin to crack under the immense weight

Thankful for the immeasurable pressure crushing my body into dust

Thankful to disappear into the moon’s blank surface 

Thankful to finally escape the last and therefore most agonizing moments of a heart on fire

Thankful that the brightest I ever burned was for you