New Friend in the Winter

A Child's Questions

Over the next few months I wasn't sure what to make of things. I was sad most of the time. I started working from the office at home on my computer and just doing emergency calls at work. Christian was beginning to ask questions about his daddy.I wasn't exactly sure how to answer them.

"Mommy?" Christian came up to me.

"Yes darling?" I turned from my computer to him.

"Why did daddy die?"

That shot through me like I had been hit with a bullet. I looked down at my feet then at Christian. "You know. I wish I knew." I almost teared up.

"Do you think daddy died because I shot him?" Christian climbed onto my lap.

"When did you shoot him?" I almost laughed but I knew he was hurt.

"When you was in the shower. Daddy and I played cops and robbers and I shot him. He

didn't come home from work that day. He died mommy and it's because I shot him!" Christian wrapped his arms around my neck and started crying.

"Christian it's alright. Daddy didn't die because you shot him with your nerf gun. Daddy died because of a drunk driver accident." I finally broke and cried with him.

"I'm never going to drive."

"It's okay to drive. Just don't do drugs while you do." I smiled. "Driving isn't dangerous, it's what is happening while you are driving."

"So a drunk driver killed daddy?" Christian's tears faded away. I was almost shocked that he knew so much so young.

"That's right." I said.

"What was daddy like?"

"Your father was an amazing daddy to you and friend to me. When you were a baby your daddy would hold you and play with you. You loved when your daddy would swing you in circles."

"Mommy?" Christians eyes sparkled like Nicks used to.

"What is it?" I sat him on my desk so I could talk to him and do my work at the same time.

"How will the new baby know who daddy is?"

"I was thinking maybe we could tell her stories like daddy used to tell you." I smiled. "Would you like to help me tell her stories?"

"YEAH!" Christian jumped for joy. "When is she going to be out of your tummy?"

"It will be a little while but she'll be here soon enough." I smiled and touched my stomach. The baby moved.

"Can we name her Emma Lynn?" Christian asked. "That's what But daddy said her name was."

"Yes, that will be her name." I said

Christian smiled. He went back to playing with his toys and making car sounds. He had grown into the imaginary friend stage so he was playing with Gabriel. He was having a blast at it too! He and 'Gabriel' had done everything together for the past few weeks. I didn't like the idea that he had an imaginary friend because sometimes that meant that kids didn't have many friends at school but when I looked in on him from time to time he seemed to be getting along with the majority of the school.

I finished my work then decided to go over to my mom and dads house. Christian gathered up Buddy's leash. He had grown attached to Buddy since his daddy died a few months ago. I stood up and was about to take a step when I felt the baby kick. I called Christian over to me and put his hand on my belly. He smiled when she kicked his hand. He hugged my belly. "I love you Emma!" he kissed my stomach and then pet it. "Did I kick when I was in your belly?" he smiled up at me.