New Friend in the Winter

Emma Lynn

By the time anyone got to the hospital I was already sitting in the waiting room holding a bad of Nicks belongings. I was rocking back and forth and so down that I didn't even notice my family come in and crowd me. I rocked and rocked. My mom knelt next to me. She hugged me tightly and held me. I just kept rocking. I didn't feel anything except pain at that moment. My dad put his hand on my shoulder. He felt my pain because he took it off. My mom cried with me. When i finally came to my senses I was Christian sitting on the floor in front of me. He stared at me wide eyed and with pure curiosity. I haven't ever cried in front of him like this. I held out my arms. Taking him into a tight hug I broke again. I began to sing to him. I sang every lyric of "Forever and Always" by Parachute. He smiled and kissed my forehead. I smiled and just held him for a while. I looked up at my mom who was just about to ask that one question. 'How is he?'

"He's gone." I hung my head. I didn't know what else to say.

"He's with God now." my dad smiled. "I bet he's smiling down at us right now."

I looked up at Skylar. "It's going to be a girl and her name will be Emma Lynn Camelot."

"What is it darling?" my mom asked. "What are we naming such a beautiful name?"

"Our child." I put a hand on my stomach. It was starting to barely swell.

My mom took me into her arms and held me. She to was in tears. My dad joined in. Then Skylar, Jeanette and Lee. We sat in the floor and just hugged. After an hour of tears and prayers I finally couldn't cry anymore. I stood to my feet and took Christian's hand. "Let's go home." I said.

We all walked to our cars and got into them. Lee and Jeanette rode with mom and dad. Skylar rode with me. No one needed to be alone right now. Skylar and I rode most of the way home in silence. Once we hit Ozark I pulled in at McDonald's. I went through the drive thru and ordered a double cheese burger a 5 piece nugget and another cheeseburger for Skylar. I got us all tea to drink. After sitting at the river and eating we all enjoyed playing together. Christian wanted to swing with us so We all swung together. I didn't know how I was going to go home to my house after all that has happened. Surely there was no way I would be able to handle it with him being gone.

After the park I drove slowly home. Skylar knew what I was thinking. She smiled at me even though I wasn't looking. She got my attention after I pulled into my driveway. "Christian why don't you go ahead over to Nana's." she smiled.

"Yes ma'am." Christian got out and walked across the dirt road to his nana's house. I sat there staring at my house. I had so much going through my mind. I didn't want to get out of the car. I didn't want to go in those doors. I didn't want to fall to the floor in tears because his scent hit me in the face like it always did when I walked in. I just sat there still hanging onto the steering wheel. Skylar put her hand on my arm. I looked over at her. She always did know what was going on with me. Even if I didn't tell her. She pulled my arms from the steering wheel. I wrapped them around her neck and held her tightly. She just let me hug her, cry on her, she was just there for me. Didn't say anything, didn't do anything but sat there and held me.

I finally got up the courage to go inside. I braced myself for all those memories to flow back to me. I walked up the steps on at a time and unlocked the door. I held my breath as the smell rushed out. I went inside and slowly let it out. The smell wasn't nearly as strong outside than what it was inside. Our house was clean and our bed was made. Christian's room was the same as always. A mess with toys everywhere. I didn't care today though. I just went into the bedroom and placed all my stuff on the bed. Here it was two days before Valentines day and he was gone. I looked around and finally busted. Bawling made everything better. Skylar came into the room with me and I sat on the bed. Skylar sat beside me and calmly let me lay in her lap and just flat out bawl. I did for hours too. I cried and cried until some one knocked on the door. I dried up all my tears and went to see who it was.

It was the florist shop delivery boy. He held in his hand a single red tulip. On the card it said. My love for you grows with every passing day. It was from Nick. I looked at the boy. "This can't be right. My husband is no longer with me." I nearly cried.

"All I know is that I'm supposed to deliver this flower to this address to this lady." the boy smiled wide.

I took it and closed the door I went to the phone and called the florist shop and explained why there had been a mix up. The lady talked softly through the phone. "Ma'am. Your husband made an early down payment to have these flowers sent to you long after he passed away." The lady said. I nearly bawled right there. I thanked her and hung up.

Skylar and I had a cup of coffee then went over to my parents house for some family time. I challenged myself to smile and laugh the whole time I was over there too. I walked with Skylar over to my parents house and sat down in the living room with a smile on my face. I watched as Christian played with his toys that he kept over at their house so he would have something to play with. My mom smiled at me. I went over to her and hugged her. She whispered in my ear and told me that God will take care of everything. "Just put it in His hands baby girl." her voice was soft and sweet. I smiled and hugged her like I was little again.

For the rest of the night we all sat around and made wonderful conversation while we spoke little about Nick and what had happened. My job had allowed me three weeks to recuperate. I was thankful for that. I wasn't sure what to do. I knew I was going to be taken care of but I didn't how I was going to get through child birth without my baby's father there with me. I sat there and watched my little boy play with his toys. 'Was I really going to have a little girl like Nick said?' I smiled and sat in the floor. Christian came over and sat on my lap. I smiled and held him. I could feel the warmth of his little body. It was so much like Nick's. He always was warm at night. After playing around for a little while I decided it was time to go home. Skylar decided she was going to go over and stay the night. Then my mom and sister joined her. It was my mom and two sisters, Christian and me in one house and my dad and brother in another.

I didn't sleep much at all that night. I tried everything. I tried to drink warm tea, I tried black coffee with no sugar. Nothing seemed to work. I sat at the kitchen table silently and watching the moon and stars out the window. Before I knew it my cell phone was waking me up.

I lifted my head off the table and there was Christian standing beside me. His little face smiled as he asked for a hug good-bye. I smiled as I hugged him and watched him run out the door and get on the bus. He waved as the bus drove off to his school. Nicks funeral was to be held later on this afternoon so I had to go get Christian from school and get him ready for it. He had never been to one before so he didn't know anything about it.

I got myself dressed in something decent and started making breakfast. I decided to make eggs and ham. My mom came in and joined me. I looked at her silently as she spoke to me.

"I will be there with you." she said.

"It's just going to hurt so bad." I said. I had learned that crying wasn't going to bring anyone back so I had gotten over crying even though it still hurt.

"I know. But think about it this way: you are about to have a baby and you have a son. That's all that matters right now is your family."

I thought about that for the longest time. I wasn't sure about how to take Nicks death as a blessing to myself. All I wanted now was to hide form the world. I wanted to run and run form the world and never come back. What was I supposed to think? I went outside and saw Buddy running down the road towards me barking happily. It was like he knew something was wrong and was on his way to cheer me up and make everything better for me. I could always count on Buddy to do that for me.

As I looked at the sky and how blue it was I felt as though I could talk to Nick. The song 'Someday' came to my mind and I began singing it.

"Sunny days seem to hurt the most. I wear the pain like a heavy coat. The only thing that gives me hope is I know I'll see you again some day." I sing out loud to myself.

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Sorry for the short chapters I like to keep things moving and when I get a new Idea I have to get it out there before it slips away!