Survivors Guilt (edited version!)

Chapter 2:Remi

Sort of what i imagine the house to be......

"Perhaps James will give Fern a tour of the barn so we can talk?" James doubtfully nods his head, sliding his chair in and motioning for me to follow. I slip out as well, following him to the gravel as the two girls run off somewhere else.

"So your names Fern, right?" I nod my head, the sound of gravel crunching beneath my feet. "Weird name."

"Its short for Fenella, which is even weirder." I retort, pausing as he leads me into the barn.

"Coming?" he questions, stopping to look back at me. I swallow the lump thats burning in my throat to follow him in. The barn consists concrete floor, with wooden walls and peeling paint. Theres about six stalls each side.

"We own about fifteen horses, most of them cattle horses except the couple we do pony club on. Grace and Sophie like to jump. we own about 600 acres; it spreads a long way out with cattle from neighbouring places on the outside." I nod my head, pausing to look at a dirt coral out of the barn.

A dapple grey, his coat dirty that he could really be any colour. James sees me looking.

Stay away from him. Hes dangerous, he nearly killed the last guy who tried to work with him. Im surprised he isnt dead yet, if we didnt take him he would have." I stare at the horse a few more seconds, before following James around the barn before heading back to the house.

This isnt just a social call- which would be amazing on its own considering I havent see my father since I was nine- no, Im here to find a horse. Not my idea.

My mother forced me to come here to try and find a replacement for Royal, and to reconnect with my father. I had plans for this summer.

Plans to sit in my room and mope, but plans nether the less.

Horses of every colour and breed dot the fields, happily grazing or running around. The dog is now sleeping on the porch, opening a sleepy eye to stare at us as we enter.

The night air was cool against my cheeks as I stare out the open window. The distance echo of horses swirling emotions inside me. I slam the window shut, unable to hear the horses that are still alive while she is dead. I walk over to the bed seeing a border collie enter and leap up onto the bed.

I pull him closer to my chest, running my fingers through his fur and resting my chin on his head. I lean back into the pillows, grabbing the feather comforter and pulling it around me before flicking of the lamp.

I wake to something wet and slobbery touching my face. I groan, pushing it back. I slowly open my eyes. At first my vision is blurry and its painful to open my eyes because of the sleep that glues them shut. I raise a heavy hand toward them, rubbing them until they open fully.

The border collie from last night is laying on my stomach, licking my face. I groan, pushing it off me so I can sit up.

"Yuk!" I groan, wiping my hand to my face to wipe of the drool. "Whats your name, huh? Slobber boy?" My fingers reach out and grab the gold tag on his collar. "Remi, hey?" He barks in agreement. "Well, come on Remi." My feet touch the frozen wood floor as I descend the stairs, Remi hot on my heels.

When I enter, the kitchen goes silent, a sure sign they were talking about me. I choose to ignore this as I slip into the wooden chair at the table. Seriously? How much wood do they need?

"So, Fern I'm sure James could use some help in the barn today, I'm taking the girls shopping so you could do that? Your choice." Mary speaks up.

I open my mouth that I would rather do neither but Im cut off by my mothers voice. "Fern would love to help in the barn, won't you Fern?"

I turn to glare at my mother as she runs her fingers through her red hair so different to mine. "But Mum! Thats so not fair, besides- "

She glares right back at me. "Fenella Ashley Harvey!" she snaps. Oops, she full named me. She heads into the kitchen to grab something as I follow her.

"Mum, are you out of your mind? I cant go into the barn and you damn well know it!" she groans.

"Fern, you need to move on and you damn well know that! So you better get over yourself and work in that barn toward or I will extend your stay here!" I open my mouth in horror.

My self -control snaps as she says that. "What makes you think I want to move on?" I cry.

See, this is the problem when me and mum fight, we are both just as stubborn as has other so it can go for hours unless one of us stops it. And that person will not be me. "Its been six months Fern. I think its time you get out of the past and into the living.  Royal is gone so its time for you to get over it as well."

Don't you dare! Don't you dare use Royal as a way to get to me! tears leak out of my eyes as glare at her. If Royal was still here? I wouldnt be in this hell hole, which I might add, you so happily shoved me in. I dont want a horse, I quit six months ago and nothing has changed."

I pull the kitchen door open, stepping out. I stop, turning to stare at Mary. "FYI, I would rather die than help out in the barn or go shopping." I hear my mother say something to her as I head into the guest room they cleared out for me.

I grab the gold heart shaped locket from around my neck. I carefully slide my thumb over the latch, watching it spring open, the chain resting like a coiled snake in my hand.

The smallest bit of hair rest inside, blacker then ever against the gold. Royals mane. Some people find it weird, but for me its a way to keep her close. Cheesy much?

I sink back into the comfort of the pillows, letting out a sigh.   

guess who finally updated? a very short filler/bridge chapter but i'm not in the mood for writing anymore. Well I am I just feel like I never have time. Ok let me re-explain that. So bascally i have a whole ton of shit going on right now which pushed me to having a mental break down, and so i'm just so emotionally drained and dead kinda.....

Anyway, how was it? Fun fact the dog was origanaling going to be called Prince and be a blue healer (I think it was this chapter) because there was a whole different bit, but since i really suck at putting stories in places, i wasnt sure if a Blue healer was just a Aussie breed of dog or not.

I suck at putting places is i always find America a brillant place to set them because of all the room and the western towns over there, but I barely know what most of the states and laws and stuff are so they end up being half in america half in Australia.

Ok, very short chapter, and as always, unedited.

oh, i would like to give the biggest shoutout to E_D_Maher she trul derserves it and it's an apology....

yeah, not entirely sure when the next update will be... i've started it but yeah not entirely sure when it will get finished.

Ok, By guys.

P.S. I love you guys so much by the way.

~Nadie