Survivors Guilt (edited version!)

prologue

unedited

Theres a stride in every gallop, where all four of the horses feet off the ground. In this moment, this second, I believe you are flying.

Truly flying.

Until reality snaps in and the hooves strike the ground in turn. Just waiting to fly again.

My hands are matted into the black mane as Royal gallops, her body relaxed and calm, if not high-strung beneath me. I sit back from my two-point position.

I ease her into a fast canter, trying to keep the thoroughbred in check. She snorts her annoyance as I ease her into first a slow canter, then a fast trot to get down the dirt bank.

She trots down, splashing happily into the shallow water, her shoes clicking on the stones before going up the other side.

"Easy girl." I call as she burst into a speedy canter, my voice whisked away with the wind as I give the tiniest tug on the reins.

She flicks her tail and continues to power forward, ignoring me as I sit deeper.

"Royal!" I attempt not to panic as I automatically push into two-point to clear a log. Royal, slow down.

I tug on the reins as she powers over yet another jump. If she keeps it up going at a flat-jack gallop, she could hurt herself on a jump, or she will run out of energy.

"Royal, quit it. Slow down."

She leaps the log into a stretch of water, which takes her totally by surprise.

There are supposedly Olympic scouts in the audience watching me ride, and now they probably think i', a joke, I mean I can't even control Royal.

I usually love a good gallop, but that is at home where its not dangerous or could ruin my career. I need to at least place in this if I have any hope of making the summer Olympics.

She canters eventually, responding to me as she tires. The next jump- a rabbit hutch- she clears with a little effort, her bay legs white with the foam that drips from her mouth. Her cross-country boots flash as she canters.

She gives me her all, her feet barely touching the ground as she canters at the right pace. Her ears prick forward when she realises we are close to the end, but one flicks back to show I have her attention.

The next jump is a metre corner jump, a metre wide as well. I direct her toward it as we round the corner, you can see the finish line, cameras flashing and people cheering as we come out into the home stretch with people lining the sides.

"This is it Royal! We made it!" A quick glance at the watch sitting on my wrist tells me that, if we keep this up we will have beaten all the people who went before us.

"Come on Royal! lets win this." She flicks her tail with happiness, ears pricked and tail high. My ego was big from this. So far, we had taken the show jumping and dressage with a first and second, but if we win this we win the competition.

We could win the Lexington Horse Trials. And that would be a massive achievement that, along with all my other wins, could get me to the Olympics or Grand Prix.

A simple one made out of logs and filled in in the middle awaits.

She throws all her momentum and power into that last jump as we fly. Then her front hoof clips the rail and we are somersaulting over it instead of flying.

I've seen this happen before, but I never thought it would happen to me. Yet here I was.

I grip onto the reins as we land with a thud. I land on my back, gasping for air as screams erupt around me, sounding like they're a million miles away.

Royal emits a sound eerily like a scream as people form a screen between us.

Everything is disjointed, blurry and spinning. One of my arms- I think my left one- hurts and my back is ten times worse than any pain Ive ever experienced.

A million different voices echo around me, a million different hands rush to help.

A million different sounds. I can hear the stand-by vet barking something and the on-site ambulance lifting me up.

My helmet shattered when I fell, so I hit my head on the ground- hard. My eyes are screwed up to avoid the scene I know awaits me, but when I finally screw up the courage, what awaits me is so much worse.

Her blood bay coat is covered in blood. Her neck is spread out as she struggles to breathe. Her left front leg, the one closes to the ground, is bent back as someone feels it.

But everyone knows that shes gone. And theres no bringing her back.

As for me. Well, everyone knows I'm going to walk this earth again, alive.

But I'm never going to ride again. I make a silent oath to Royal, to horses in general to never put them in danger again and get on their back. Or make any connection.

Then darkness consumes me.

Ha-ha. The first bit is actually from the original book, just edited! What are your thoughts? Better or worse than original? I like it slightly better but let me know. Im starving so im going to go steal some food from the fridge now.

by the way this is quite short with only 920 words not including authours note. sos guys.

Byyyyeee

~Nadie