Survivors Guilt (edited version!)

chapter 3: The Never, Ever, Ever Rule

Short crappy chapter but willl do. As always, unedited.

I roughly grab a handful of hay, pushing it unforgivingly into the hay net before giving it a few punches to get my point across.

Stupid hay, stupid horses, stupid know-it-all bitchy steps.

I grab the now full hay-net, heading out to hang it some horses stall. These arent even my horses and I'm forced to clean up after them and feed them and water them. Mum all but threatened to kill me if I didnt cooperate.

Ok, so maybe it was the teeniest bit less dramatic; she basically just threatened to extend my stay here which was enough to get my butt moving.

I hang it over the hook on the stall door of a bay. I stare at my outfit distastefully. I kind of forgot the never, ever, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER- yeah, I think you get my point, rule of never wearing white to the barn.

So now my white tank is covered with dirt, stains that are never going to come out, water marks, sweat marks, horse slobber and sneezes.

Which totally sucks because I actually like this top. Even if it was only five bucks from Kmart

My jeans are soaked from hauling water buckets to overly demanding horses. Which blows.

"You know you are never supposed to wear white to the barn? Right?" the voice of my charming evil step sister from Cinderella, Grace nags.

You think?

I flick the tap off, grabbing the bucket and walking toward a wooden corral. I open the latch, stepping inside, a grey horse stops and stares at me, its eyes lacking in something.

"Fern!" Graces cries. "Fern get the hell out of there." She stares at me as I casually fill up the dirty trough with water.

"Im right thanks." I call, standing to dust off my jeans. My gaze latches onto the dappled grey with dirt stuck through his mane and coat. He stares back with as much intensity, the second I step forward, his body goes stiff.

"Fern! Get the hell out of there. He will kill you." I laugh it off, how many times had I heard that?

She disappears to go get someone as I stare at the horse while he stares uncertainly back.

Hope.

Thats what his eyes are lacking in. His given up, through with what life hands him. I know that feeling; the feeling when all the things you are handed out is just a tempt to get you to stop it. A scar runs down his face, hard to see against the grey. I sink into a daze where the only things that exist are me and the hopeless horse.

I want to know who in the world did this to him.

"Fern! Get out of there now." The sound of my fathers voice booms, breaking my trance and causing the grey to reach for sky.

Dinner was an uncomfortable affair that evening. The only sound that was heard was the sound off knives and forks hitting the plates in a piecing scream of protest.

I dont even try to eat, instead pushing the food around the plate. "Whats his name?" I finally break the silence that had settled over the room.

My father looks up in surprise. "H-he doesnt have one. But Fern, I suggest you stay away from him." I have now captured the attention of the room.

"Honey, I think you should listen to your father." She puts an emphasis on father that only I know the meaning of.

I let it drop, staring back at my plate with the uneaten food as the table resumes its silence. "So, Fern since your mothers leaving tomorrow we could go for a trail ride." He is so damn inconsiderate! All him and mum want his for me to ride again no-matter my reasons for quitting.

"Ill think Ill pass. I dont ride." My finger cross under the table hoping that he would take the hint. But I have never had much luck.

"Well, we could take the ute out and we could take the ute out and I could teach you to drive?"

Im about to immediately shoot him down, but then my selfish and not revenge pitted side comes into effect, reminding me I do need to learn how to drive. I nod my head in defeat.

I push the glass shower door open, stepping out into the frozen air that immediately makes me shiver. I wrap the towel around my body, before stepping in front of the mirror. I will let me get a ego here and say Im slightly pretty.

Long strawberry blond hair that falls down my back in waves, piecing green eyes that I get from my father. My hair colour comes from my nan. I wrap a towel around my hair, carefully sliding the lock out before tip-toeing to my room. As I throw an oversize t-shirt on, voice waft through the open door.

I admit Im not the ear dropping type, but when it involves my mother and father, well, bring on the binoculars.

"She really hates me Steph." My father says.

My Mothers retort comes soon enough. "What did you expect? Shes sixteen, not nine. She wont come running into your arms as soon as you return. She really doesnt want to be here because of that whole Royal thing."

Pain stabs through my heart. The whole Royal thing? Now she is just an object? A scandal? I shut the door to muffle the voices and sit on my bed before drifting off into a slumber, happily dreaming of days where Royal and me were invincible.

"Do you really have to go?" I ask mum. She nods her head before pulling me into a hug.

"Come on, Fern. It will fly by. I dont want to leave you here, but your father has custody rights."

Well, thats news to me, my mother actually doesnt want to dump me here for summer.

"Just promise me you will try?" she questions. To most, her words mean to try and reconnect with my father, however her words have a double meaning.

Try and find a horse.

I nod my head, saying goodbye as she climbs into the car, starting the engine before reversing out of the driveway, waving at me as she passes. The dog barks its farewell at the dust kicked up from the car tyres as she disappears.

still a short one but i've had a lot on my plate and barely enough time to think let alone write! i will try and set aside time hwenever i can im just not sure when that is.

On top of that, i am now carrying a severe case of writers block for this story.

I'm thinking off starting TWO NEW horse storys, not at the same time but soon. And maybe a teen-fiction story without horses, not entirely sure.

One of the stories will be called Freedom, but the start is very much like this one, minus the whole dad thing.

ooo-is anyone else thinking i should throw in a boy? Im thinking about it, thoughts?