Agony (Samgladiator Fanfic) (DISCONTINUED)

Prologue

My name's Sam Gladiator and this is the first time I'm using a journal. I used to think that it was stupid, diaries are for girls. And, well, I guess I still think that, hence calling it a journal. A journal is more manly than a diary. Not that I'm judging.
It's just my thoughts have been harder to handle, so going off topic and babbling is going to happen. A lot.
And before you ask, why are you recording this, why not just write it down, it's because it's easier to talk it out. That and my therapist said it was a good idea. Considering I'm dyslexic, so writing may be harder and most likely not my favourite thing to do.
Anyway, I'm recording this journal, because I need to talk my thoughts with someone, or in my case something. And no way am I going to a different therapist. I'm not explaining what happened to me again. But for your case, journal, I will.

Last year, I lived in a crappy apartment with my best friend Taurtis and it was fine. Great even. We both took the train to school and we had crazy adventures. My other friend Grian, he's British, joined in a lot. Anyway, there was this group, The Yakuzas. They were kinda like the Mafia, criminals who avoided the police. The leader's daughter was crazily in love with Taurtis. Going so far as to murder his girlfriend. It was insane.
Until she turned her sight on me. Believing that Taurtis could never be truly hers while I was still his best friend, she had the Yakuzas try to kill me and when that failed, they kidnapped me. They faked my death. The daughter comforted Taurtis over my 'death' and eventually finally started dating him. Her father and herself tortured me during all of this. Then she had the idea for me to write a note.
I was forced to write a note, explaining that I faked my death to see how everyone would respond and that I hated them all for their reactions.
Taurtis was pissed at me and fell into her hands.
Grian and our teachers eventually rescued me, after psychological trauma had been done. It took a while, Taurtis saw through her games and helped me recover. Then we moved to Tokyo.

We hopped off the train and met up with Kiyu, the contact our teacher organised. Kiyu seemed like a sweet girl but I couldn't bring myself to look at her. Her name, her voice, even her looks reminded me of Yuki, the daughter in love with Taurtis. I knew that Yuki was behind bars and everything but I couldn't bring myself to be friendly with Kiyu, the trauma I suppose.
Grian and Taurtis seemed to cover for me, saying that I wasn't feeling well. She then showed us our new house and it was much larger than the crappy apartment. However it only had one bedroom and a basement which we converted to two extra rooms. Taurtis claimed the upstairs room, while Grian and I stayed in the basement.
Well that's what was going to happen. Yuki had kept me in the basement, so I slept on the floor in Taurtis' room. I tell myself everyday, I will sleep in the basement. And each day I spend just a little longer in there. Leaving the very second any flashbacks start. Taurtis has tried to switch, but I have to do this. You understand that Journal?

We've only been here two days, and it feels like weeks. The only problem is that school starts tomorrow. And I'm freaking nervous. What if I can't handle it? What if everyone knows about me? What'll happen if my feet won't allow me to move? I'm terrified, although I'm hoping it doesn't look anything like our old high school. Hopefully the flashbacks will stay away.

I'm still very damaged, broken. I'm never going to be the old Sam, never again. Thank you Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. But that's okay, because it's a new city and I'm confident I can be a new Sam, I just have to get over all this baggage.

I suppose I should sign off. So bye Journal, thanks for listening and I guess I will come back. How about we make it a regular session, huh? Every Sunday? Maybe depending on how I'm feeling. At least until I can handle all of these thoughts. Anyway, thanks and bye.

"Sam! You wanna watch TV? We could play the GameCrab?!" Taurtis yelled from downstairs. I assumed he sat in front of the TV. I logged off the computer and headed down the stairs.
"No he can't and neither can you. You haven't tried on your uniforms yet! What if they don't fit, Taurtis?" Grian demanded. I laughed as I saw his red face and Taurtis looking like his mum was trying to scold him.
"It's okay, Grian. They'll fit. Trust me." I responded with a smile on my face. "Come on, let's all play GameCrab. We won't be able to tomorrow." Taurtis jumped up and chose a game as Grian reluctantly picked up a controller and sat on the couch. I sat in the middle and soon we were lost in the battles of Super Smash Bros.

My subconscious mind reflected back on the support I had from my two best friends while I was recovering and how we ended up here.
"One day, everything will be okay. I promise." Taurtis whispered in my long, rabbit ears.
Yeah Taurtis, one day everything will be okay, it might not be today or tomorrow or for a long time, but it will happen. And that's enough for me.
But right now, I know our friendship is stronger than ever, and that's the one string I'm gonna hang on to the tightest.