Shades of Blue.

Chapter Seven (Part Two)

Normani's fingers are swimming in Lauren's hair, their faces are so close now that Lauren can see just how dark her eyes are. Just how much she wants this. She kinda looks like the girl Lauren met all those years ago. Pretty girl with pretty eyes and a pretty smile and pretty everything really. Lauren was stupid for her then, and she's crazy for her now.

She closes her eyes and lays her head on Normani's shoulder. She smells like the hair product she's fond of using and vanilla body wash. Lauren kisses her collarbone. Then she proceeds to litter Normani's skin with kisses until she gets to her lips. Normani hums, deep and content and Lauren smiles into the kiss.

She pulls back a little to just look at the girl in front of her. She tucks a few strands of curly hair behind her ear and tries reminding herself why she can't have this. Because there's a reason. A very reasonable and well thought out reason. But with Normani looking like she did when they met, reminding Lauren of shy kisses that tasted like coffee and warm nights under yelllow sheets that gave the illusion of summer, it kinda gets hard to keep track of those reasons.

Normani tilts her head adorably and smiles, "what?" she asks around a small chuckle.

Lauren shrugs and holds her face delicately in the palm of her hands. She kisses her again, all softness and reverence this time.

Normani arches her back a little and moans. Lauren kisses her deeper. Tries breathing everything she's feeling into that one kiss. Normani's finger finds it's way to the loop of Lauren's belt and she pulls her close. Lauren breaths out a laugh. But it's only for a moment because she can't bear to stop kissing Normani. She can't bear to lose this connection.

In the end, it's Normani who pushes Lauren away. And it's like someone switched something off in her because Lauren can literally see the life draining out of her eyes.

"Mani, what's-"

"I can't do this." She moves back like she's trying to make herself one with the wall. Like she can't stand to be close to Lauren anymore.

Lauren frowns, confused, they were fine five seconds ago. "Did I do something wrong?" She asks, cupping Normani's face and making her look her in the eyes. "Mani...talk to me. Did I do something cause-"

"This can't be what I am to you Lauren." Normani's voice comes out hard, but the edges of it are laced with so much hurt that it sobers Lauren right up. "I can't just be some drunk girl you fuck in a dirty bathroom because your girlfriend is too wasted to do anything." She bites her lip, glassy brown eyes laid bare in front of Lauren, not bothering to hide anything, "please don't reduce what he had to that. Please."

If Lauren hadn't been sober before, then she's definitely sober now. Her throat feels clogged and she feels like she's seconds from throwing up.

"Mani. This- that's not what this is." She says with the most earnest voice she can muster, "it's not. I promise."

"We should go." Lauren can see Normani building her walls right back up. She gently pushes Lauren off of her and wipes her tears away.

"Mani-"

"I can't do this right now, Lauren. Let's just go. Dinah and your girlfriend are probably wondering where we are."

....

Lauren leans on the wall and blows out a puff of smoke from her cigarette. She's more sober now than she was when she came to this club and it's pissing her off.

Normani's standing with Dinah. She has Dinah's jacket on, and her head's on Dinah's chest and her whole being is wrapped around Dinah's arms. Lauren's pretty sure it's not healthy to feel as sick as she does seeing the two of them together.