c'est nous (m.w)

dear, edward (1)

- Maymay's.

Dear Edward,

I started, tapping my pen on the bridge of my nose while I think of a way to start this letter. I have come to realize that this was so old-fashioned, but I guess these are the way I love it, so that Edward can feel the effort I will put into this letter, even if I have no clue whether he recieves it.

How are you? It's been months.

Things are pretty much different without you. Things have gotten lonely, without you matching my craziness. I was about to chat you, but I thought things would be more intimate if I just mailed you.

I chuckled. Edward would probably tease at how much of a manang I am. But with him, I would always want to make it full of effort and full of care. I know these are somehow with a hint of unrequited love, but I hope he still appreciates it even though if he realizes what agenda I have for him now. But of course, I am but wishing that he wouldn't notice it yet. I'm afraid he will shut me out once he knew about what I felt.

Kidding aside, why haven't you texted me for months?

I sighed. This was a desperate move to get him to text me, yes, but I was not sure what else to do. Marco's been texting him, and Yong's been video-calling him, but me? Not once. After a few months of adjusting again to Germany, he have completely forgotten me. Of course, I didn't made him see that I was affected, but it was tearing me apart.

I miss you, twin. Hope you'll text me once you receive this! - Love, Maymay.

It was the first time I have ever sent a letter, much less to a significant other. But for Edward, I thought I would go an extra mile. But for so many days that has passed, there are zero response from him.

Dear, Edward.

Hey, you haven't replied to my last sent mail. I have double checked the address and it was still it, so I'm wondering why didn't you reply? But oh, well. I guess the mailman just misplaced it somewhere.

I sighed as I wrote a letter to Edward for the nth time. He hasn't been replying since, no word from him ever since that letter I first mailed to him. I tried contacting him through fb but I noticed he blocked me. I've sent a private message via instagram and twitter, but still no response from him, yet he sends all messages to our friends. I was supposed to not mind it, but of course, it affects me a whole awful lot.

Dear Edward,

Letters are my last resort, twin. You've blocked me in all social media accounts. I don't know any way now on how to get to you. I want to talk to you so badly, I do. This may seem like a desperate move but I really do miss you. I just hope you're okay. I hope we're okay. I hope our friendship is still okay. I miss you.

I shook my head as I re-read the letter that I was about to send the mailman. I have noticed his pity looks every now and then, but I ignored it. Every time he walks by my apartment, I was hoping for some miracle that Edward changed his mind and finally talks to me again, but he will alwayas greet me with a sad nod.

Dear Edward,

What is wrong? Is there something wrong? Why did you stop being my twinnie, Edward? I thought you will never leave me, nor stop talking to me. Is there something that I did to make you treat me like that? Please tell me, so that I could fix it, so that we would be okay again. - Love, Maymay x

Months have gone by, years, even. I have been mailing him - sometimes I thought it was annoying but I didn't really care, I just wanted to get a response from him. Just anything, even a dot. But no, there's nothing. Nothing. Even Fenech and the others have told me to stop, yet I didn't. I just want him to talk to me again. To be my Edward again. Yet he wouldn't let me in his life again.

Dear Edward,

This is my last letter, and I am sorry if I kept on flooding you with all these worthless letters. Just like how I feel worthless to you now. This the last time I'm going to send one of these messages and this is the last time you'll hear from me, I promise.

Edward, I know you probably know this already. I have concluded that it is why you aren't replying to me at all. But I guess I should tell it to you directly, for once and for all. So that even I could be at rest.

I have loved you. I fell for you. Even when I shouldn't.

Now I am paying the price, twin.

Goodbye, Edward.

I breathed in deeply after I was finished. A tear fell and smudged my writings, but it was done, I was not going to repeat it again. I smiled once I called the mailman. "This is the last, kuya."

"Bakit ma'am?"

"I was never going to get a response from him, so I'll just stop na po."

I didn't wait for something any longer, yet my phone beeped, and it got my heart into shattered pieces once I read it.

"Stop messaging me."