c'est nous (m.w)

lighthouse

- Maymay's.

"The stars look beautiful tonight, aren't they?" 

I looked at him, not surprised that he was here. Lagi nalang kasi nandito si Edward, whenever he feels like it, at kapag feel ko din, this is where I would go. On the top of this abandoned, yet still working lighthouse. Mabuti nalang, this thing still have some electricity, kundi baka natakot na talaga ako ng tuluyan. Kung hindi rin dahil sa warmth and relaxing aura ng dagat, tumakbo na ako sa takot. And if it wasn't for this handsome angel besides me, maiihi na talaga ako. 

"Ah.. oo." I just replied, tinitignan ko padin yung dagat. 

Even though I'm afraid of the sea and what's underneath it, I still find peace looking at it. I still want my toes soaked in the water, gusto ko padin na malapit dito. Kahit madilim, kahit yung ilaw nalang ng lighthouse ang tanging source ng liwanag, dito padin ako. Being in this place gives me the warmth and home I desperately needed after a long and stressful day at school.

"Dale, how was school?" He said, out of the blue.

I heaved a sigh before replying, "Stressful. 

More stressful than I had to admit. I wouldn't dare open up with someone whom I'm still not close with, kahit na lagi kaming nandidito - hindi kami ganoon nagu-usap. Siguro awkward, the only thing I know about him is his name and malapit ito kung nasaan ang lighthouse - and the reason why he's always here. Pero to have some heart to heart talks? No, hindi pa. In fact, this is the only time na nagtanong siya sakin about anything in general, besides my name. 

"Lighthouses are beautiful, don't you think?" He said, out of the blue.

I looked at the structure of the lighthouse. Sobrang nakakatakot ito sa unang tingin, oo at malapit ito sa isang park pero nakakatakot pading pagmasdan. It was eerily quiet, and the darkness was threatening, parang may hahablot sa'yo out of nowhere. Napatingin din ako sa dagat, at kung saan tumatama ang ilaw na dala ng lighthouse. Napabalikwas tuloy ako ng tingin kay Edward, what's so beautiful about this place? Literally, it's everyone's nightmare. 

"For sailors, seeing a lighthouse at night is a blessing." He started, still looking at the sea. The wind is gracefully passing by his face, it was like a scene from the Titanic - pero nasa lupa at wala sa barko. Napatango nalang ako. I know what lighthouses meant to sailors. Hindi ko lang alam kung bakit sinasabi sa'kin ni Edward ngayon 'to. I waited for him to continue.  

"Lighthouses guide sailors home. The light shows them the way home." He added. I realized na he's now close to me. I can smell his scent from where I was standing. Grabe, ocean breeze.

"I think I know the purpose of lighthouses, Edward." I said, chuckling. He looked at me, his eyes softening. "I know you do, you just don't get the point on why am I saying this to you." He said, looking at me for affirmation. I nodded, looking at the sea - medyo kinakabahan. 

"May, for years we've been coming here... and for years I've been too afraid to start a conversation with you... This is my last chance to come clear." He sighed and smiled at me sadly, and for some unknown reason - I was pulled by his sadness as well, even though I don't know what is his reason or what will he do. But I know what he will say, I just can feel it. 

"I like you." He said. 

Shell-shocked, I looked at him. Hinahanap ko ang bahid ng pagj-joke sa mukha nito, pero wala. Wala, eh. He was so serious, he wouldn't even dare break our trance. I can see his eyes are genuine, if I were a typical high-school girl, kikiligin ako. Pero I still have a lot of questions. 

"Pa.. paano?" I uttered, making him smile. 

"Okay, let me start. The first time I saw you here, you were crying, pero hindi muna kita pinuntahan. I know you needed space. Tapos you've been here ever since, and I have noticed something in your eyes whenever you're here." I looked at him for his answer, he took this as his cue to speak again. "Longing. Longing for something. Pero after some hours, contentment na ang nakikita ko. After a few days, I approached you, pero not entirely surprising you with the fact that I have been watching you." He chuckled.

"So every time I see you here, I want to ask you how are you, what're you feeling. But I always chicken out. That's when I realized na, nagpupunta lang ako dito for you to notice me. Na notice how much I want to be friends with you." He sighed, I noticed his grip on the railings were tightening. I continued to let him speak - of course, flattered naman ako. But I can also feel my heart trying to beat so hard it'll come out of my chest in no time. 

Edward looked at me. "No - wait, na I want to be more close to you." 

"I have been so lost not long until I found you crying there, I found peace. It's like my search for peace is over because I found it inside a crying girl. Your presence bask me with warmth - with a feeling of home." He heaved a sigh after telling me this.

I have noticed that his feelings for me was the kind of feeling I feel in this lighthouse. Naiintindihan ko na. I gave him a sweet smile, nodding - as if I knew what he was letting me know. In return, he gave me a small smile. "I'm not yet done." He whispered as he held my hands and turned me over to look at the sea. "I was a sailor in need of a land in the night."

"And you have become my lighthouse, Maymay."