The key to my mind

The sad truth

I'm a failure.... I hate to admit it,but at the same time I'm not afraid to. I've haven't reached the peak of my life yet, and yet I can come to grips with the fact that I am in fact a failure. I can't always complete simple tasks, I can't always be there for those I told I'd never let anything happen to them... Even worse, I can't always keep my promise..meaning I'm a disgrace to my own family. I try so hard but its like my effort is that much of an ants effort to climb a giant flight of stairs. I pout hard work in but my effort doesn't matter..it never does, which is why I call myself a failure. I try hard in school, and get my grades up, but I can't do that... To make it worse all I'm being told left and right is that not only am I failing, but I'm the reason both my friends and now wife, are failing...which fucks with me hard. Then I'm a failure at home, I can't do shit right there let my mom tell you. "I don't do enough," she loves telling me. It's like I'm enemy number one in my own home because if my mom can't control the kids and I don't do anything, she's on my head, but when I make an attempt to help discipline them, she tells me to quit acting like their father... But it's ok, I've become used to this failing thing..I mean how couldn't I? It's become a part of my everyday life style, I am failure and failure is me. It's almost like failure is a characteristic of mine, because no matter how hard I try, failure is what I will always be....Life lesson learned. I have more to say on the matter but... Why talk when I'm the only one listening?