o k a y .

3

She knows she'll never have a chance. That hurts her on so many levels. All she's ever wanted was to feel loved. To be in love. She wants to be someone's reason for breathing. She wants to be needed. She wonders why he doesn't notice her. She wants to know why she's never had a relationship. She's 15 and never been kissed. Never held hands with a guy. The first time she kissed a guy on the cheek was in a school play. She wants to know why things just aren't happening for her. I guess she's what they call a late bloomer. But, her friends don't believe her when she says she's never had a boyfriend. They think she's beautiful. She doesn't see it. She has brown hair and brown eyes. Slightly tan skin and a slightly curved figure. She thinks she looks average. When people complement her, she shoots them down. But, secretly, she wants the guy she likes to tell her she's beautiful. She wants him to look at her as if she is the thing holding him to the earth not gravity.

She doesn't know who to act around boys. She's inexperienced. She's shy sometimes. She can be awkward. But, she makes up these scenarios in her head of their relationship. She'll picture them sitting on the couch watching a movie and cuddling. She'll imagine her prom proposal where he walks with her to the common area of their school as a big banner saying PROM? comes down from the balcony. She thinks of how they'll be in the summertime, going on ice cream dates and sitting by the pool. She imagines all of these things, but they're not real.

And they never will be