Lay Me To Sleep

Chapter Twenty Two - You've Forced My Hand

I had been forced into quite a position, to say the least. Louis had acted with complete abandon. He acted without thinking. He had become a monster, something he had always claimed to of hated. He had taken something from Nina. He had stripped her bare of choice. Of her innocence.

What Louis had done, was the beginning of something else entirely. He had forced me. Louis had forced my hand, I had no choice. To either let Nina die as a human. Or to turn her.

At this thought, I paced.

She would have too many questions, she would wonder for a time, before she would find herself answers to those pressing issues.

She was smart. Too smart for her own good. Too smart for mortality, she was destined to be an immortal. But how to convince her of this?

I wanted for her to choose, to make the choice. I wanted her to figure it out all on her own, to have come to me, to ask for immortality by my side. I wanted to give her the choice I never had. I wanted all these things for her, still.

I never knew love, but if this was it, I wanted it with Nina. I'd waited centuries for someone, for her. She set my soul alight, provided that I still had one.

I wanted to do the same for her. I wanted to give her the same love that she inadvertently had given me. Whether she found herself aware of it or not.

I wanted to show her that there were good men. Granted, I wasn't all good, nor was I all evil. But I was a lover. I am a lover, and I desperately wanted to be with her. I'd gladly lay my life down in place of hers, that's what I had assumed love to be. I'd die with that thought in mind, thoughts of her, if need be.

But Louis had ruined it. He had stripped her of that decision. In doing so, he had damned her, as I had been damned.

Louis was special, as much as he denied it, he was given the choice, he chose this life. He was angered by his past choices, namely, the choice to become death. His mistake. That's what we are after all, bringers of death. Vampire, some say, but what we are is a physical death. Death is what we wrought.

At this thought I slammed my fist down on the piano keys, hard. I was becoming angry. Unlike my true self. I needed to calm down, an unclear head would nary diffuse the present situation of which we found ourselves. For Nina, I needed to be calm.

Nina will be given the same choice, but now under very different circumstances. It was unfair to her, such a beautiful creature. It would be a sin to take away such beauty in the world, to douse her light. Especially considering she was one of the few lights left in this wretched place. Louis was right about one thing, maybe God had left us. Weren't we deserving of his absence?

I had to make her see that there was so much left in the world for her, there was a life outside of what death would bring. For as evil as many made me out to be, I was not without conscience. I was not evil enough to damn her for my own selfish reasons, just as I was not evil enough to damn Louis, just as I didn't damn Louis. It was his own perspective that lead him to be damned. I loved him still. He was my brother, my son.

I never wanted this for her. I never wanted this for Louis.

I made my way to Louis' room. I had him chained to the wall, in the basement. He had nearly killed Nina last night. As she bled, he had proceeded to feed from her. The desire to kill had become to much for him to abstain from. I doubt he even remembered it, I didn't doubt that Nina would though. I locked him down there for Nina, for her protection as much as his and my own. When Louis drinks he becomes a worse self. He becomes a monster. He's not in control.