Saved by Demi Lovato

Is this the secret?

CHAPTER 21

   Jessica's POV 

        It's been hell here without Demi. New girls have come and gone. I don't associate much with people. Sitting alone at meals is so much harder than having Demi help me through it. Yesterday they tried to give me another roommate, but I threw a fit, and guess what? No roommate. Even though I hate this place, I've been keeping my promise to Demi. Being honest with my therapist. Not calling her a fucking bitch everyday. Maybe 7/10. I've been gaining weight. But I can barely look in the mirror. I'm disgusting. But, I think of Demi, and tell myself that i'm beautiful. I have panic attacks throughout the night. With no one here to help me the bad ones have lasted until morning, and I sometimes fall asleep at the breakfast table.

~*~ 

              Today, I have an off-day along with the rest of the teenage girls. Our families are supposed to visit. I'm excited, because I haven't seen mine since the day I entered treatment six months ago. Yet dreading it, because they haven't seen how fa- curvy I've gotten. I waited in the lobby hiding in a corner while the other girls buzzed about their families coming, and how they;re excited to see how much their little brothers or sister have grown. But it was bullshit, 90 percent of us were dreading it. The other ten percent had been making huge progress and now really thought of themselves as beautiful. So far two girls had been taken away from panic attacks, I wonder if I would be next. 

                Soon, the parents started rolling in, girls screamed in excitement or moaned when it wasn't theirs. A lot of crying, a lot of happiness, it was frustrating to see normal people, who didn't have to put their entire being into working for happiness. It just came naturally to them. I don't know how they did it.

            More and more parents came, and soon it was just me and one other girl sitting in the room. I had never seen her before, we made eye contact and she quickly looked away. It reminded me of the first couple weeks of my stay here, she must be new. She looked really thin, perfect thin- no sickly thin. I had to get those thoughts out of my mindset, and she kept pulling her long sleeves over her wrist. I knew that nervous habit. I had seen dozens of girls do it, including myself, and Demi.

              Sometimes it hrut to think of Demi, wondering how she's doing. Knowing that she's living her life, probably putting on concerts or giving interviews on how strong she's been. How she's so happy. The thoughts swirled in my head, 'I bet she's never even mentioned you. Or thought of you. She probably is glad that you're still in here, so she doesn't have to see your face everyday. You think shes going to be there when you finally get out of here? Well guess what? You're never getting out of here. We will never leave you. EVER.' I sat on my hands to keep me from scratching myself and shut my eyes, trying to think of something else. No luck, the demons circled my head, laughing at me. Taunting me.

         Then, the door opened. A tall man staggered inside. "MINDY BABY WHERE ARE YOU?" He bellowed. The girl across from my cowered into the wall, a security guard stepped forward. "Sir are you intoxicated?" He asked. The man roared with laughter, "HELL YES. IT'S AMAZING." Then he caught sight of the timid girl, "MINDY BABY THERE YOU ARE, LET'S GO PLAY A GAME SHALL WE?" The girl-Mindy's eyes widened and she shook with fear. "D-Daddy?" Suddenly the man's expression turned stormy. "YOU STUPID BITCH GET UP, WE'RE LEAVING." I shrank back into the wall from his radiating anger. "Sir. I have to ask you to leave. Now." The huge security guard said. Although Mindy's dad was taller, he was skinnier and not very intimidating if you compared the two. "I'M NOT LEAVING WITHOUT MY BABYGIRL." He tried to push past the guard but he was gently pushed back, although because of the alcohol, he stumbled and his anger heightened. I got up and ran towards the girl. I took her hand and helped her up, then ran with her into my room. She didn't need to see this.

              As soon as I slammed the door, she crumpled to a heap on the floor, crying her eyes out. "Hey, it's okay." I said, sitting next to her and pulling her into a hug. She sat there and bawled into my shoulder for a long time, someone came and knocked on our door but Mindy didn't hear it. I found myself thinking about how Demi and I had been in this exact position so many times. Only in reverse. I found myself feeling stronger as I helped the girl. Maybe this was the secret to getting out of here? Actually having someone to help yourself for? 

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Wow! this is a long update! haha i hope you guys liked it and i'm so so sorry again for not udating for a while, I have like 6 fanfictions that i'm trying to update, but i'm not going to ever cancel this one! 

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-Rachel<3 

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