Ugly

2

     I had sat on the bench with Ivy as he called his mother. Of course, we were going to travel through the forest together. Ivy invited me the day before, his baby blue eyes weren't something you could just pass up. And as we walked in the forest, Ivy sighed. "Did you bring the beer?" he asked me, only for me to show him the 20 to 30 bottles in a cooler. He hopped in excitement and walked me over to a field. He laid a bunch of blankets down and two small travel pillows. "Aren't you ready? We're going to watch the stars. Get drunk and listen to Katy Perry and dance our hearts out!"

     "I don't get drunk," I muttered, " I never really drunk beer before... " it was like those few words had triggered shock in Ivy's eyes. He grabbed my hand and gasped.

     "You haven't gotten drunk or drunk in general?!"

     I shook my head, only tor Ivy to give a grin. "Well you're going to get drunk tonight!" he announced like he was talking to multiple people. "And we can hav e fun in the process and get to know each other better!" Ivy stopped hanging around Danielle so much and now he was attached to an ugly nobody like myself. It was honestly a shocker to everyone that Ivy hung around me, or even thinking that I was worth something. It was a shock for me too.

---

     We sat outside, sitting on the hood of my truck. It was once my father's, until he gave it to me of course... We sat and dranked and laughed and talked, admiring the night sky for what it was. Ivy was getting closer resting his head on my shoulder. It got quiet and we just sat in silence looking into a sky.

     "Say, Avery," Ivy whispered, "Do you think we'll be alive to go on different planets? Do you think we would be able to be ourselves? Do you think-"

     "Those are some pointless questions," I sighed, "All you need to know is that you're happy here... " Before I could get another sip of my drink, Ivy crawled on top of me.

     Ivy smiled softly and kissed my lips. My eyes grew wide as I felt his tongue touch my lip. I felt weird and confused... I pulled away with haste, shoving Ivy off. Ivy paused and stared at me, surprised by what had happened. "Did I do something wrong?" he asked, his face looking so hurt. "Did I kiss incorrectly or maybe my nose was in the way..?"

     "Ivy we're both guys," I muttered, pulling my legs up, "Wouldn't that be sinning or--"

     Ivy paused, "You're religious?" he sat down and stared at me, his face red. "I-I didn't know! I'm sorry. I didn't think straight... I should have asked you if you were gay or--" He pause again and wiped his eyes. "Im trying not to hook up with ever single guy I see, but I failed horribly... "  Ivy smiled slightly, "I'm such a slut... " Still in shock from everything I sat up a little. Again, we were left with silence. Ivy laughed it off slightly and gulped down the last bit of beer he had. I just sat there thinking. "I'm so silly, right?"

     "Not at all," I muttered back, "You didn't know so it's fine... It doesn't mean I think of you differently... " I bit my lip as Ivy sat quietly. "But, if you want to hook up with me then I'll be glad to make out with you... " I was desperate. I wasn't religious. I was too smart to be religious. I just wanted to touch Ivy and see him and feel him and so many other things I cant describe. I craved for his attention. He attention was my drug.

     As our lips touched I smelled the beer in his breath and tasted it on his tongue. His body scooted closer to me and his hands touched mine. He was an amazing kisser. Though, it's not like my first kiss. I've kissed girls before. Like in elementary school I kissed Rebecca Mendler. She said I was cute, but of course, I'm not. Is this the same with Ivy? Are we just pretending to like each other? No. My feelings are strong for Ivy. Could I say I loved him though? Probably not.

     "Say, Avery," Ivy whispered as he pulled away, "You want to be in a relationship with me or is this a one time thing?" I paused and felt his fingers entwine with mine. "I mean, I want to do everything I can with you because I have more than just sexual feelings for you... " I felt a chill run down my spine as Ivy began to kiss my neck.

     "Wait are we going that far?" I questioned as he was ready to unzip my pants. I watched as he fondled me. "Wait... Ivy... " Ivy looked up at me, ready to give me a blow job. "Ivy, I don't want a relationship with you..." I lied to him. "I just wanted to see what it feel like to make out with you and maybe I was going to tell my friend what it was like.... He really likes you... " Ivy froze, his eyebrows furrowed and his lips curved to a frown. He sat up and stayed quiet.

     Ivy's lips parted. "So this was just all a lie?" Ivy muttered, "You pretended to be my friend  so that you could get information out of me. You were studying me like a lab rat the whole time... " Ivy shook his head and got off the hood of his car. "Fuck, Avery," he sighed, "I actually thought you liked me, but all you were doing was snaking... " Ivy grabbed his bag and his phone. He soon grabbed a beer bottle and chucked at me. Luckily it missed and hit the hood with a loud crash. "Keep the jacket, snake!" I watched as he stormed off, leaving me in complete silence. I sighed and ran my hands through my hair.

     I was scared. I was justified for saying those things to him. Though, I lied to Ivy and said rude things and pretended to trick him. I felt like I just murdered someone...