Ugly

6

     I woke up to find myself next to Ivy. He was curled up, hugging a light blue pillow. I sat there staring and watching as he whined in his sleep. He was having a nightmare...

     My hands touched his cheek, and with that he flinched awake. His cheeks were red, and tears ran down the bridge of his nose. "Ivy," I whispered, patting his hair, "calm down... " Ivy stared at me as I felt his soft hair.

     He moved my hand and sat up, pulling some hair back behind his ear. "I honestly don't know how I got in here," he whispered, hugging his pillow tighter, "I'll leave. "

     "Stay. "

     I held Ivy's hand and tugged him back towards the bed. "I shouldn't," he whispered.

     "I insist," I smiled, "please stay... I'll comfort you no matter what... " Ivy sat down in the bed and sat up, looking at the ceiling fan twirl and twirl. I sat beside him as he rested his head on my shoulder.

     He looked at me. "So your dad raped you?" he asked. I nodded and tried not to remember. "How would he do it?" He was curious. I remembered. The toys, the rope, the hitting. I didnt want to remember but- "Never mind," he sighed, "I never met my dad, but I imagine you wish you'd never met yours... Have you ever wished that maybe you wish you were never born beautiful. I wish that sometimes. And that sounds so shitty and self centered, but I wish I wasn't so privileged. I wish someone else could experience what I experience... I wish was disciplined when I did wrong and stuff... "

     Just listening to Ivy rant was beautiful. I would just listen and listen and listen until he went silent. "I wish I could of met someone so beautiful like you sooner, " I whispered.

     "And I wish I could of met someone so handsome and charming sooner," he giggled, leaning in as he whispered that. I leaned in as well until our lips touched. We were kissing. It was something I thought I would never experience again. I felt special. I felt like I was worth something. I never wanted to not feel his lips and his touch ever again. I want to be in Ivy's embrace for the rest of my life.

     I crawled on top of Ivy and took my shirt off. "Ivy," I whispered, "Have sex with me. " Ivy hesitated. Like I thought, a goody-two-shoes... My lips pressed against his again, hoping he would not reject me. I could feel his hands touching my bare chest as I pressed against him. When I pulled away I looked at his face.

     "Why are you so handsome?" he asked. I froze, "I wish I had a more muscular face like you. Your features scream boy and I want that... You're so.... " He thought for a moment, "perfect... " I sat there staring at him as he praised me for my looks. I couldn't agree though. I shook my head and lifted off of him.

     Ivy's face was confused as I sat further away from him."Did I do something wrong? " he asked, urgency in his voice, "I'll do anything to make it up to you! What do you need from me? Please tell me! I'll do anything for you! Just dont leave me!"

     I stared in shock as he began to cry. "Ivy," I whispered, "Calm down... " Something must've happened to him in the past two days... Something that destroy him... Something that messed him up. And it messed him up bad.

~~~

     I woke up with Ivy close to me, his head under my chin and his nose touching my neck. His breathing gave me shivers. It felt like a small, warm breeze blowing. I liked that. I looked at the window and hummed as I sat up. Almost morning. The sun rise was absolutely beautiful from a big house's point of view.

     "Ivy," I whispered, shaking his shoulder. When he woke up, he looked at me with a soft gaze. His face looked so helpless. It made me want to destroy it... For some reason I had the urge and mess him up, and still hold him and cherish him like I did, but... "You should put on your clothes and sleep the rest of the morning in your room... "

     Ivy sat up, covering up his privates. "We did it?"

     "N-No! No we didn't we just took off our clothes then you began to cry and all," I said with haste, "We didn't do anything but make out... " Ivy sighed and rubbed his face. "Did you want to do it?"

     Ivy looked at me, his arms wrapped around his pillow. "To be honest I wouldn't mind doing it with someone like you," he smiled as he looked at the bed sheets, "But I let Danielle get to me first... " I sat there, confused. He flipped over onto his back and showed me the marks.  "See the hickeys?" he asked, "Danielle wouldn't call me or talk to me or anything after we did it... When I went to school and sat down with my friends, they all got up and went to a different table... Danielle won't speak with me any more... I don't have any clue what I did to deserve it, but... "

     "I don't understand... "

     "Turns out I'm the slut of the school," he smiled weakly at me, "and just for sleeping with one guy that turned out to be the wrong guy... My mother doesn't know it yet... Soon the parents will start talking about at the next PTS (parents talk session) meeting on how that blonde haired Ivy's been sleeping around. If my mom found out, she would immediately take me out of the school and home school me. How fun. "

     I stopped his talking with my hand over his mouth. He just sat there. "When we go to school today, I'll protect you... I promise.

~~~

     School was mostly normal. I kept an eye on Ivy all while doing my work. It was fun, but lunch time seemed to hit the both of us like a truck.