Lover Boy

Truth .

"Because all my life I been stressing and struggling, that's why I come up in this bitch with aggression," - K. Michelle

Jovonnie.

I couldn't stop the tears from falling. After Kamari left out I knew that he was going to go do something bad. I couldn't stop him though. He just ..... Left.

Well more like stormed out.

Who could blame him though ?

You just found out that your girl friend fought with her father, she's crying her eyes out because she felt like it was her fault.

What type of shit is that ?

I would understand my parents.

I'm thankful for them of course. They provided for me.

Never lacked in that category.

But they couldn't provide me with love.

It was like they were caught up in their own mess of a relationship to the point where they couldn't see that me and my sister wanted to be loved.

We wanted to be able to play with them. To have a little family time.

We never did.

And Asia eventually got over their lack of affection but I kept trying. I kept pushing to get some type of emotion from them.

I would act up in school just to see of they would yell at me or something. Don't get me wrong , I was a good girl. I always had A's and B's but I would purposely talk back to adults just to see if my parents would give two fucks.

They never did. And I slowly began breaking down . I found myself crying more and more, craving for that attention.

Then came Kamari Douglas.

He was like the sugar to my KoolAid. With out him I was bitter and no one dared to approach me, but with him... Oh man I was sweet, and everybody wanted a sip of me.

He was my first real friend.

True enough I had other friends , but a REAL friend was new to me.

Bitches was fake as hell and jealous because their niggas wanted me. So I didn't fuck with them. Niggas are scandalous and way more trouble than females. So I didn't fuck with them.

Save myself the drama.

Then Kamari Douglas came.

He changed my perspective of niggas, with that one dribble of the basketball. That one jumpshot, his way of standing out from the others.

First, he arches his back. Then leans forward on his toes, then jumps. He scores everytime.

Man that shit had me gone.

My love for basketball at the time is what drew me to him.

But basketball didn't last long, because of Kamari. He made me realize that I didn't want to go Pro like he did. Instead he helped me channel my inner anger , by painting.

Crazy right?

First Basketball then Painting?

But the same way that I can still run circles around half of these niggas who CLAIM basketball is life, is the same way that I can pick up a paintbrush and paint out your whole life. Without knowing you.

I'm just that good, no cocky shit.

No lie, when I first started hanging with Kamari everybody and they mama had something to say.