shawn mendes imagines

"i drink away my problems"

Y/N'S P.O.V :
honestly i can't keep track of how many days I've been sitting on the floor drinking and getting absolutely wasted.

i actually forgot why i started in the first place, maybe i liked the way the alcohol runs through my lips that sent a tingling feeling and feel its pressure in my mouth and straight to my lungs  i found it so satisfying

i miss Shawn....

maybe that's the reason, he hasn't been home since 2 months. yes we call and text each other but when i crave for him i just drink up and no ones stopping me

at this moment I'm still drinking at the floor of our kitchen

i leaned onto the wall and stare at the 4 empty bottles in front of me and i feel dizzy

I was about to close my eyes until the door opened

"baby?" He called out

it was shawn.

But how ? He was on tour. how can he be here ?

I hear footsteps walking around and they're somewhat getting closer

"hi bab-" he stopped and looked at the 4 empty bottles around me well 5 including the one i was currently drinking

i just giggled

"what are you doing?" He asked as he kicked all those 4 empty bottles in front of me

"uhhhhh...drinking duuuh....u want one ?" I giggled

"no i don't want on- wait it means you have more ?" He asked and runs to the fridge

"Duh, there's like 10 something in there i don't really know" i said and smiled

i swear to gahd all i see i everything spinning in front of me

he grabs it all and dunks them all in the sink

"what are u doing?" I shouted

"You don't need this" he furiously said

"yes i do" i said and tried to get up

i have stood up and i tried walking and held to the walls for support which led to me falling down again

I just cried and kept hitting my head with my hands

"y/n stop" he groaned and came to me

"I'm sorry" i cried out and he took the drink off my hand

"look its okay, i just don't understand why you need to drink?" He asked worriedly

"It's not easy shawn" i said still crying

"What's not easy?" He asked

"its not easy without you here, I miss you Shawn, it's not easy to live alone in this apartment, it gets lonely and when i crave for your cuddles and your kisses that i miss.. and every night when I'm in bed all alone i always leave a space to just think that you're there because i can't do something about it when you're halfway across the world" i paused and sighed

"so i drink away my problems to forget that i miss you...that sounded rude but you get it" i slightly giggled and shawn just looked down there was a short pause until shawn spoke up

"listen i know the pain i feel it every day and every night i miss you being next to me all the time you supporting me through every show i have, with all your good luck messages and your hugs and kisses.. god those lips of yours i crave for them every day and your soft cuddles and our Netflix nights and we eat fast food i miss them and most importantly i miss you" he said and held my hand

"I'm sorry" i softly said

"It's okay just promise you won't do again" he said

i took out a large breath "i promise"

he stood up and offered his hand out for me to stand up which i gladly accepted

i walked but couldn't function very well I'm still slightly drunk which resulted to me almost falling down but good thing Shawn catched me

We laughed about it and he kissed my forehead