" Hey, sis " I looked up and found Ahsoo. He sat beside me.
" Did something happen ? " He asked. I shook my head.
" Did you know that Baekhyun going to get married tomorrow ? " I nodded slowly.
" His bride is Nana " I nodded again. I know all of that. Inside that envelope was their wedding card.
" What bring you to Jeju ? I'm sure this not because of Appa or me " He said. I shrugged my shoulder.
" You can't bear with their marriage, right ? " I looked at Ahsoo for a while before left him alone there.
Three more days and everything end. He going to get married tomorrow with his lover, Nana. I don't know what bought me here. What I know, I drove here early. I shook all my thought. I walked to beach and sat on stone there. I'm sure Ahsoo followed me from behind.
" Tell yourself how to do feel when he said how much he love you " he spoke up. Tell you the truth, I'm happy heard those words come out from his mouth. That was what I waiting since our wedding day. But I can't believe his words with all my heart because I kept remember our past.
" Tell yourself how you feel when you saw him with his ex " It hurt a lot. I felt like my chest tighten. Difficult for me to breath. But I can't do anything since ... I don't know the reason for that.
" Tell yourself why you can't accept him " I just don't know.
" Ashlyn, did you get it ? " He asked. I raised my eyebrows. What does he mean ?
" You still love him. You acted all fine and don't care but deep inside you dying love him " He explained.
" You don't have enough time to think. He going to get married tomorrow and the next day your deal ended. You know what I mean " He patted my shoulder.
" Think carefully " he gave me a small smile before left me.
Is it he gave me hint ? Yes, envelope that I got before had their wedding card. Nana and Baekhyun. I sighed heavily before putted on my earphone. I turned on some random song. All song made me felt better until Fine by Taeyeon played.
On a ripped piece of paper
I wrote down how I really feel
And it gets clear
Somethin’ bout you
Yeah, you and I are similar but different
Do you feel the same way?
I’m getting my hopes up
When one day, one month, one year passes
Will we be living different lives?
Not me
It won’t be easy for me
Still, you fill up my days
Not yet
I tell myself, like a fool
I can’t swallow the words that linger in my mouth
It’s not fine
With my hair tightly tied up
I’m cleaning up my messy room
I’m looking for somethin’ new
Sometimes, I get this overwhelming feeling
Of having to do something
So I move around for no reason
When one day, one month, one year passes
You said you’d probably smile and reminisce but
Not me
It won’t be easy for me
Still, you fill up my days
Not yet
I tell myself, like a fool
I can’t swallow the words that linger in my mouth
It’s not fine
Between the meaningless jokes, back-and-forth conversations
And all the people, I look like I’m fine
I pretend to be numb and I try to smile
I try to turn around from your shadow but
I keep thinking about our last moment
The words “take care” was it for our plain breakup
Not yet
I tell myself, like a fool
I can’t swallow the words that linger in my mouth
It’s not fine
Why when I tried to figure out what I really felt, you always come out. It's like you can't be miss out. When I found out about our marriage, I asked your mother everything about you. Both of us have chemistry where we loved the same things. I thought we can make it. Maybe because of our interested, can make us become a real couple.
Is it my hope to high that moment ? I guess it was. It just a hope after all. Every moment we spent as a married people, always made me think how long we will stay like this. Will we be able to live like this ? Without love. I found the answer now. We can't.
After you left me, I acted all strong. When I was not. I always wonder what are you doing, is it you doing fine, how your relationship with Nana but I can't do anything except asking myself about that. I felt like a fool when I kept thinking about you after what you have done to me. I'm an idiot to fall in love with someone like you.
Whenever I tried to forget about us, our last moment kept repeating in my mind. How you told me to let the time decide our relationship. It really painful moment yet I still can remember it clearly. Yes, I'm not fine. I never fine. I missed you like crazy but I denied it with hope I will get over it. But I'm wrong, that feeling control myself than I do.
Yes, I still love him
YOU ARE READING
Didn't end yet | B.BH
Fanfiction[Important] The story was write after what happened. There will have flashback. Just follow the flow ~ Go check it. I'm tired making description when later it will be delete by itself. :(
