She Will Be loved [13 Reasons Why]

Preface.

We all killed Hannah Baker. We all had a reason behind it. Without knowing it, we all drove her insane.

I cost a girl her life because I was afraid to love her. I was afraid of so many emotions. So many emotions we all knew would just have ended terribly.

She was going through pain and I didn't stop her. I didn't help her.

I didn't say anything. I didn't do anything.

Words can do something. You always have to learn through your words. Your actions. Well basically everything.

Because it can lead to the S word.

Everyone gets so hyped up on the S word.
That word is not simple.Neither is it shit.

Well it creates shit that is for sure.

Neither is it stupid, sex, stereotypical, slut

I guess the last one can lead to the word but actually that only happens if they don't have a person there by their side.

I'm talking about suicide.

Suicide. Just thinking about that word now leaves a throw up in my mouth. It makes my heart beat faster than a flutter of butterflies wings.

It reminds me of my life now. It's all around. It's like a strange friend in the shadows or the wind through the trees.

You might not know it's there yourself but it knows.

With that you need to find your solice. Your hearts desire.

You have to find the thing or things that gives you life. A reason to live.

Hannah Baker was mine. Then I pushed her away. I wish I could take it back someway somehow. I wish I could go back to the night we met .

I would try to get closer with her someway somehow-

"It was a beautiful song-"

The flashback starts. The song starts again. But this time instead of me meeting Hannah in the middle and starting to think about the night we danced. She's not here.

Nope. The box is. The box full of the tapes that started it all. I go to it and open the box.

To my surprise though the tapes aren't there. The box is empty but with one little piece of paper on the bottom.

It is taped to the end and I kneel down more. I take it in my fingers and when I look at the other end of the paper, my eyes grow teary.

"To Helmet"

"Jensen!" a holler comes from the corner of the gym. But now there are others here. Not just me.

I furrow my eyebrows. Why would that happen? I've had weird and messed up illusions but what was that?

Right. An alive person spoke to me and probably wants me to give him attention.

I clear my throat as I see people looking at me, "uh-uh-um yeah coach?"

"Can you get your head out of your ass and hit the ball?!"

Gym. Man I hate this God forsaken place. The place where I have Alex...

I pick up the ball. I turn it around in my hands, "but why? Why hit this ball then have a person either catch it or not then work their hardest just to get you out? When we all this is just a game. Just another game this school would be a part of. A game that makes us all go against each other." I explain but then look around as I see what I said made people look at me even more.

I set the ball down and walk away. Not just from the gym. The class. I don't change. I leave the room.

I walk slowly and surlingly to the door and push it open.

That illusion. That illusion was the weirdest thing I have been a part of. Did it mean anything? What was happening?

When I walk down these halls, all I see is her. When I look at that damn locker or look over there all I see is her.

When I go to communications class, all I want to do is look over and see her but I don't. At least not for real.

I don't even go to work anymore. Do I even have a job?

I probably wouldn't be able to work there anymore because All all I would think about is her. And her laugh. Her smile. Her contagious smile that made me fall in the first place.

Or maybe it was her sarcastic and funny personality that made me feel the way I do. And maybe it was the reason why I couldn't be with her or tell her.

I turn around the corner and I bump into the one and only Bryce.

Fucking Bryce Walker.

"Hey Jensen, was three days enough for you or what? " Bryce grabs my shirt with his hands and pulls me up a little.

"I don't know what you are talking about Bryce."

He pushes me on the wall as I am still up in the air. I try to escape his grasp but its pretty clear that he is the stronger one.

"You don't know what I am talking about?" He gets closer to me face, "YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT I AM TALKING ABOUT!"

He lets me go and I straighten out my shirt again. He points to me and then he spats out, "watch your fucking back you piece of shit. Or I will make your life hell."

How can you make it even more hell Bryce? Like how?

I nod at him, "uh thanks but i already know to."

"Right," he smirks and then walks backward until he moves at least ten feet. He turns around slowly not breaking eye contact.

I keep my flare at him until he turns around a different corner. Then I turn back toward the doors. But I get startled as I bump into Tony.

"Whoa, there," Tony says and puts an arm on my shoulder, "are you alright Clay? You are being pretty jumpy and that statement back there in the-"

I interupt him as I clarify, "no I'm fine Tony. I swear."

Tony doesn't look so convinced as he puts his arms across his chest, "are you sure though? You have had to take in a lot lately and having the lawsuit balanced then what we all did-"

I once again onterupt him by putting both of my hands on his arms instead, "don't talk about it okay?" I look around, "don't. We almost- we almost died Tony."

"Clay don't look at it that-"

He gets interrupted again but this time not by me. But by the alarms throughout the school. I know exactly what that means. Lockdown.

"Get the others and have them meet behind the gym," I say to him fast as the alarms seem to get louder and louder.

"Clay I don't think they will listen," Tony states as I am already running.

"Just do it!! We have to fix all of this !"

Maybe it's fair to go back and fill in the holes you are asking for.

Let's start by saying we all wanted a change...

A/N So excited for this!!! Please vote, comment, share it around!

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Until then,

H