She Will Be loved [13 Reasons Why]

Chapter One.

I'm going to add this to here again because this is literally such a beautiful video!!

This story will have trigger warnings on each chapter because it is that way. I in no way think these thoughts but I try to think of what clay, or the others might think!

If you and anyone else you know have these thoughts please send help.

Dedicated to: lynidz thank you so much for comments and follow babe! I hope you enjoy this heart whelming story!

And oh yeah there will become things not the same as the show. Like we don't know if Alex dies. I mean if Tyler killed him or if he gets shot. And so on and so forth you know what other things I am talking about. 

If there are things in this book that aren't the same then please don't comment about it. That is my attention. After all this is only a fan fiction, right?

CHAPTER ONE.

Clay's POV

Three Days Earlier...

When you think of happiness you always picture that one character, that one thing. That greatness that only brings you laughter, life, and in some ways your happiness brings you heartache. 

All these flashbacks, memories, and even illusions will surpass. Or maybe they won't. 

-

I wake up and my bed is all sweaty again. I breathe in and out. Just laying in the sweat. Looking up at the ceiling. 

"Clay," my mother knocks on the door but as if it was even pointless to she opens the door, "are you up yet?"

"Yeah Mom. I'm up," I say not breaking my look at the galaxy poster on the ceiling. "I'm up."

She shuts the door. I lay there for a few more moments until I think about it and know that I must get out of the bed. 

They have become stricter on what i should do. My parents. They have told me a lot about what i shouldn't do because now I am convicted as a suspect of Hannah's suicide. 

They all think I bullied her. Tormented her. Raped her. Did anything like that to her. Hurt her. 

But I did worse. 

I walked away. I walked away from her although I knew there was something wrong. There was clearly something wrong with her. But she told me to go. I had mixed emotions then. it felt right to hold her and that's what i did but then when she pulled away and told me to go. I did. 

The biggest mistake I have ever made. Bigger than the thing i did to Tyler. Bigger than talking to Bryce. Bigger than making Justin talk to Jessica about her rape. Bigger than not saving Alex.

All of it. 

And this is worse. Nothing would have happened if I just stayed there. If i comforted her and told her it was going to be okay. 

Anyone could have done it and prevented this from happening...

"Clay!" I wad up the sheets from the bed into a ball and run down the stairs. My mother takes the sheets in her hands.

"Again?" She asks and looks at me more, "hun are you sure you are alright? "

I look in the small mirror before the stairs and notice my bad bruises that were once there isn't there anymore.

"Yeah Mom. I'm fine," I face her again, "just fine." 

I look at her with reassurance. I sort of roll my eyes at her or at least her full of worry. I turn on my heels and then go into the kitchen to sit down to 'our breakfast' time. 

I pull the chair from the table and then sit down only to know there is at least two set of eyes looking at me. I look at my father and he has his lips pursed.

"Clay I am really worried about you," he says. My father isn't so like, well like this. He usually just tries to talk about it and not say things so up front. 

"Yeah well Dad. I am fine. I don't know how many more times I have to tell someone that."

"Well I am completely aware you are but you also have to realise, my son, that all of this will steam over. Porter is getting what he deserves. And I know I am not suppose to say that considering your mother was the lawyer for-"

"Dad," I interupt him, "I seriously don't want to talk about it again. You know what you just said. About it steaming over? Well let's just move on. "

I take the fork from my napkin and push it through the pancake that my mother prepared.

My father doesn't say anything for the rest of the time for breakfast but my mother soon comes in. When I look at her from the corner of my eye I can see her stress. I reach over to get side and put my hand on the back of her arm.

I give her a small smile and then when I notice I was doing it for to long I look away from her. I take my hand away and try to act normally again.

"Do you have anything to do this morning dear?" My mother asks me.

I got my lip and look to her, "no why is that?"

"Well I think it's time as a family that we finally go to the Baker home and pay our respects-"

Before I could butt in my father interrupts her, "Ah sweetheart let's just pay the respects during Clay' s manner okay? If he's ready to he'll do it, but that's only if he even is."

I get up and don't push my chair in. I don't touch my dishes either as I just walk out of the kitchen.

"Clay where are you going?" I hear my mother's voice trail from behind me.

"Oh you know what I do need to get this one assignment done for English and Sheri really needs help."

"Oh I haven't seen Miss Holland  for a while. I was wondering why."

The actions of the make out with Sherri replay in my mind and I lie again, "Yeah distance, you know."

I grab my bag from the small couch in the living room and then walk to the door. My father has beat me to it and he has his arms crossed over his chest. 

"Clay we are here for you. Don't you know that?"

"Dad-" I pause," I am fine. Do I need to tell you that? It's not everyday you loose a person you love but everyday has trails and this one trial I will eventually get over. Maybe you all need to realize that." I look back at my mother and she is pursing her lips as she grabs my dishes from the table. 

I open the front door and then walk out. I hear my father mutter a few words and shut the door himself. 

I look outside and Tony's red rig is already waiting for me. Although at first I didn't know Tony's attentions of getting closer to me then finding out and lashing out at him for it, I have apologize for it. We have gotten closer ever since then. Ever since I gave the tapes to Porter I have found a peace to it. 

To the tapes I mean.

I found that the solace in my heart has been  lifted and all the bad things happening will eventually be okay. 

Tony is leaning on his car, "Clay have you heard?"

Oh no. Last time I heard those words. Those words. Last time I heard those words I found out the girl I love spared her own life. 

"What are you talking about, Padilla?" I ask and then the next words come out of his mouth makes my bag fall.

"Alex Standall is dead."

A/N

Sorry for the short ass chapter but I needed to get things done. This is just basically more of another introduction. Then the real stuff starts! I hope you guys enjoy this and don't forget this is a work of fanfiction. So I won't get everything right! 

Love you all and stay awake! Stay Alive!

H