that thing called cancer · phan

seven

when dan woke up, he was not in phil's arms. he immediately sat up, breathing unevenly, but not for reasons involving cancer.

even though phil was older than him, dan still felt anxious whenever phil left like this. had he gone home?

dan got out of bed and walked down the stairs slowly. he didn't even check the time.

when he got down the stairs, he paused. he looked around him, and no one was there. where were his parents? where was phil?

he walked around the corner to the lounge. still, there was no one there.

dan turned on his heel and walked back up the stairs to his room again. he sat in the bed and picked up his phone. he texted phil: 'where are you?'

dan finally checked the time. it was two in the afternoon. he'd slept for a long time.

phil soon texted back: 'w/ ur parents. be back soon. x'

dan sighed. he passed the time by watching a few youtube videos.

phil and dan's parents were home in twenty minutes or so. dan paused the video and left his room once more, walking down the stairs again, but slower.

when he was about halfway down the stairs, his breathing became extremely shallow, but he didn't stop.

phil noticed his presence as dan was almost down the stairs. he smiled and hugged him, picking him up and carrying him to the floor, "hi, dan. how did you sleep?"

"good," dan said with a weak chuckle. he felt worse than he ever had, but he didn't want to worry phil or his parents.

"we were just shopping and ate lunch, and then we just hung out," phil said.

"you hung out with my parents?" dan asked with a smile. his voice was scratchy and quiet. phil still didn't seem to notice.

"yeah, it was honestly really fun," phil said.

"of course it was fun, phil," catherine but in, then said, "because i was there."

"i heard that!" will yelled from the other room, "i'm more fun than you, cat!"

"you wish!" she shouted back. both dan and phil laughed.

"we're gonna go upstairs, catherine," phil said.

"alright, thanks for spending some time with will and i! it was lovely, dear," she smiled, patting phil's shoulder.

"i enjoyed myself, too," phil smiled. he picked dan up - to his surprise - and carried him up to his room. when they got into the room, phil gently lay dan on his bed.

"are you okay?" phil asked immediately. he kissed dan's hand.

"yeah, of course," dan said, "never better."

"tell me the truth," phil said, "you look sick."

"i mean, i am," dan said.

"i-i know, i meant..." phil sighed, "you look so pale, and skinny. like, skinnier than usual. you look unhealthily thin, i'm worried about you."

"i don't know, phil," dan said.

"and your voice is so... sickly..." phil said.

"i guess i'm just dying," dan said.

"you're not... dying," phil said, "it's probably the chemo. you're just a little under the weather, is all. you'll be okay after the surgery," phil kissed dan's cheek, "don't worry."

"phil, i'm gonna die, don't fill yourself with false hope," dan said quietly, "i'm sorry, but it's true."

"dan, stop talking like that-"