that thing called cancer · phan

nine

dan woke up from his nap at three in the morning. it was now the day of his surgery.

phil had gone home the night before to clean his clothes and attend to other things that he needed to do, leaving dan by himself. phil would, however, visit dan before his surgery. he also promised to stay in the waiting room the whole time with his parents for which dan was grateful.

dan tried falling back asleep for a little while before giving up. he got out of his bed and went to the lounge in the floor below.

he picked out a movie to watch and sat on the couch while it played on volume five. he wasn't really watching the movie, but he wasn't tired either, so he just kind of stared blankly at the wall, leaning into the sofa.

he thought about how much he didn't want to go into surgery. he'd never had to have surgery before, why now? well, he knew why, he just wish it wasn't a reality.

even if this tumor removal cured his lung cancer, he still had another cancer to worry about, that other cancer being leukemia, and that was a rare type, so he could very well still die from that.

he had no idea how he had gotten cancer. there was a small history of cancer in his distant family, but all of them didn't get cancer until they were at least middle-aged. dan was still a teenager.

and certainly none of his family members had ever had two types of cancer at once. that was just unheard of, especially in his family.

dan was extremely nervous now. he was breathing harshly, and he was aware of that. he sat up on the couch and closed his eyes whilst he held his stomach as he tried to catch his breath.

he stood up, despite his shallow breaths, and walked to the kitchen. maybe some tea would help.

he decided to go the lazy route and microwave the water in a mug. when the water was heated, he put in a tea bag of chamomile tea.

his breathing evened while the tea soaked into the water. he sighed before taking a sip. this would be a long night.

-----

he eventually fell asleep, but was woken up by his mum at eight in the morning.

"i hate to wake you up so early, darling, but we have to check into the hospital in an hour and a half," she said, kissing the top of her son's head.

dan sat up groggily and rubbed his eyes, "is phil here?" dan asked tiredly.

catherine smiled while rubbing dan's arms comfortingly, "he said he'll be here in twenty."

"i miss him," dan said, "i want to see him before they cut me open."

"i know, honey. he's on his way," catherine said, "as you wait for him, why don't you get ready? take a shower, get dressed, brush your teeth..."

"on it," dan said.

"do you need some help up the stairs?" she asked as dan stood up and stretched.

"muuum, i'm not helpless," dan said.

"i know, i know," she said, "i just worry about you sometimes."

"i'll be okay. i'm going to hop in the shower," dan said, making his way to the staircase and slowly walking up it, holding onto the banister.

he got to the bathroom, only a little out of breath, and turned on the water in the shower as he undressed. he checked the water's temperature and found it suitable, climbing into the tub and letting the comfortingly warm water fall onto his thinning hair and cascade down his frail back.