Star Light Star Bright

Chapter 18

There it was. The answer that I had known was coming. Why not? In truth it was the answer I had been expecting, but it didn’t make me any less upset.

My heart hammered against my chest, but this time it was with anger. I pushed away from him violently, hoisting myself into a sitting position. I accidentally kneed him in the stomach, making him gasp in pain, but I didn’t apologize. I wasn’t sorry.

“Why not?” I spat back at him. “How about because I was almost molested, not an hour ago? How about the fact that we’ve hated each other since birth, and how about the fact that I still hate you?!”

I threw myself off the edge of the tailgate, landing on the hard ground with a thud. I gripped the quilt and yanked it out from under him, finding strength in my anger. I wrapped it tightly around me, finally feeling the chill from the evening breeze. “Take me home,” I hissed. “Now.”

I quickly made my way to the cab, opened the door and climbed in without a word. Chris quickly followed me shutting his door softly. He turned to give me a tentative glance, but I refused to acknowledge him. I kept my eyes glued to the window. Nothing moved to keep my attention, but I didn’t look away.

I felt the car start to life and pull away from the side of the road before turning around and driving back down the bumpy dirt road.

The car ride home was full of silent tension. The urge to turn to look at Chris’s tightly set jaw and strong arms turning the steering wheel carefully was almost over powering, but I managed to keep my eyes trained on the passing cars.

By this time my hair had dried, but it still reeked faintly of beer and had tangled at the bottom of my neck. The dark blue t-shirt I had obtained at the party, which I was sure my parents would notice, was covered in scattered tear stains. A look in the mirror confirmed that my make-up had run and been smeared.

Sooner than I had expected, Chris was pulling up in front of my house. He stepped out and quickly made his way to my side, but I threw my door open before he could reach it, almost hitting him and stormed up the front steps.

I threw the front door open quickly, slamming it into the wall. My mother looked up from where she was sitting on the couch, her eyes were wide as she watched me storm in.

“Sage!” Her tone was dripping with anxiety. I didn’t look up at her, just kept walking. “Sage!” this time her voice was full of authority that made me stop in my tracks and look up at her.

She swiftly got up and marched over to me. “What happened to you?” she asked, running her hands through my tangled hair.  The beer smell wafted up and tinged the air. Her eyes grew wide. “Sage! Have you been drinking?”

I shook my head defiantly. “No! Of course not.” I insisted. “I would never.”

“Oh really. Where is your shirt then?”

I felt Chris step up, close behind me. The energy between us growing stronger with every step. My mind couldn’t to decide if it wanted to take a step away and leave him in my dust, or take a step back and feel his warm embrace around me. I bit my lip nervously and stood stalk still.

“It wasn’t her fault.” He said quietly and I could feel his eyes on the back of my head.

My mother quickly moved her scrutinizing eyes to him. “Please explain.”

“We were walking and the drunk man in front of us tripped. Neither of us realized until he was spilling his beer down the front of her shirt. My friend left a shirt in my car from a trip to the beach, so I lent it to Sage, so that she didn’t smell like beer all night. There was nothing I could do about her hair.”

My mother eyed him suspiciously, and then she looked back down at me. I could tell, by the glint in her eye that she didn’t believe the story, but she wanted to. “And the tears?” She said, noting my disgruntled make up and disheveled shirt.

“Anger,” I piped up before Chris could say a word.

My mother pursed her lips, but nodded, not wanting to ask too many questions.

Before she could object, I brushed past her and ran up the stairs. I quickly found my way to my bed, slamming my door closed behind me, and threw myself face first into my pillow.

I thought I had cried myself dry earlier, but apparently my body had, had time to recuperate and the tears spilled out endlessly. I twisted my head to the side for air and through tearstained eyes, saw the perfect white folded notes. They mocked me with their unread messages and proclamations.

Rage quickly replaced my sadness. I swung my legs over the edge of my bed and grabbed the notes. They felt thin in my hand, easily destroyed. It would have been so easy. All I had to do was tear them into little, tiny, pieces. I started to pull them apart down the middle, but my own will power fought against me. The closer I became to tearing them apart, the more I wanted to open them and read them.

With a scream I threw them into the trash. The force made the small trashcan wobble and fall over. The note on the top of the pile spilled out. This one had only been folded over once and, with the small amount of wind that blew past it as it fell, it opened. Through teary eyes and blurry vision, I could just make out five small words, written in beautiful cursive script.

What I loved about you…

My breath caught in my throat and I fell back onto my bed with shock. This could not be happening. I didn’t even want to know what was in the notes. I didn’t care. I was just a toy for him, something for him to do while he was here. Why not me?

Shakily and unconsciously, my hand reached forward to pick the note up off the ground. The paper was thin and delicate in my powerful hands. With only two fingers, I carefully opened the note.

What I loved about you today.

Was titled at the top. My hands shook, making it hard to read, but I continued down the page.

Today you got grounded because you came home late last night. I saw that boy kiss you and the thought of you not being able to see him made me smile, but that victory was short lived when I saw the look on your face. You looked so distraught and upset, but then you started to explain your night, and even though you didn’t go into too much detail, I could see the sparkle in your eye and the genuine smile on your face. And that’s what I loved most about you today. Just one simple look from you made me feel light headed, and even though it wasn’t for me, I know that sometime soon it will be.

                  Chris