Who we are

Chapter 7

I tried to push myself upwards but it was no use with the strong currents of the water. No matter how hard I kicked and thrashed, I kept sinking deeper into the murky, ice cold depths of the lake. I starting thinking that this was the end. This was the part where my life was suppose to flash before my eyes before my end. I accepted that there was nothing left to try, my body was heavily damaged and I was beyond exhausted. Everything hurt to the point where I just stopped moving, I didn't want to feel anything at all. It was getting so hard to hold what little breath I had left, my lungs felt as if they were on fire and ready to explode. The moment when everything started fading to black I tried to hold on to one good memory. The memory of a party, where I saw all my friends face for the last time. Where I got to see my mom's face and my unnies, and where I could see Sinb's face for the last time ever. I focused on Sinb, I wondered if something like this would be his last thoughts too......

I immediately woke up in bed in a sweaty mess. I was breathing heavily and way to fast so I tried to hold my breath then slowly breath in and out to stop the panic attack. When I think I got a hand of it, I reach over to my night stand to take my panic attacks medication. After 10 minutes I finally start to calm down again, but I'm wide awake. I keep replaying the dream over and over again in my mind until I finally drift off to sleep a few hours later.

My mom gently wakes me up in the morning and tells me I slept through my alarm and that if I don't get up now I'll be late. I quickly eat and wash my teeth and change. As I head down stairs again I say morning to my unnies and take my ADHD and depression medications. I didn't always have to take depression meds, but after the accident I got pretty sad and my ADHD got worse too and I later developed panic attacks, but I don't get them as much anymore. The morning was the first time I had one in a month.

I could already tell that today would not be a good day. It didn't help that I was so tired. I just hope that I don't fall asleep in class or have another panic attack.

Chaeyoung's POV

It's Friday and I'm both happy and super nervous because that means I'm hanging out with Mina tomorrow. Couldn't wait to see her in first period.

The moment I walked into chemistry and directly looked at Mina, I could tell something was off. She's usually on her phone, talking to Sana or spacing out (which she does a lot), but today she had her head on her arm and was rolling a pencil on her desk. She has a tired and kind of sad look on her face. I really want to know if she's ok or not.

Since I got there later than usual I couldn't talk to Mina because the class just started. Throughout the lesson I would glance at Mina and see her dozing off every once in a while which was not like her to do so far. I wrote a little note asking if she was okay and passed it to her and she nodded at me, but I was still worried.

Later, in math she dozed off again and a teacher caught her before I could nudge her awake. The teacher walked over and had a quiet conversation with her. I wasn't trying to be noisy, but I heard some of it since I sit next to her.

"Mina stop using her condition as an excuse not to pay attention or to sleep in my class." Said the teacher. Wow she seems pretty bitchy. Mina gives a sad nod and the teacher goes back to her lesson. Now I'm really worried about her.

Lunch was even worse. Mina didn't really make much conversation today. She didn't even play around with her unnie Nayeon, and they always try to mess with each other.

After school I saw Mina walk over to Nayeon's car, so I tried to catch up with her. I had no idea what I was going to say to her, but I just wanted to see how she was doing now.

"Hey Mina. I noticed you seemed off today. Is there something wrong? You know I'm here for you." I said.

"I'm fine Chae. Don't worry." She replies. But I can't help but think she's lying and keeping something from me.

"Oh okay. I was just making sure," I replied.

"Thank you for doing so. I just didn't get a lot of sleep. But I'll be good for tomorrow." She says giving me a half smile.

I'm still suspicious, but I give her a big smile back and tell her I can't wait for tomorrow. If only I could find a way to let her know that it's okay to open up and that I'll always be here for her. Maybe I can show her that tomorrow.