21 days ; wheesa

day 18

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[ unedited ]
hwasa's pov

for the first time in 3 years, i woke up with a heavy heart. i wasn't bothered by my shrilling alarm clock today. the teddy bears sitting along my bedside couldn't lift my spirits. the ticking of seconds did not instill a sense of urgency to be punctual for school. my favourite breakfast consisting of hard-boiled eggs and butter sandwiches failed to cheer me up. i just wasn't in the mood for today, for everything coming to ruin my day. from the moment i woke up, i was in the state of burrowing my head into my pillow and never stepping out to face the world.

i knew why, but i refused to accept the reason behind these. i don't want to think about it.

why would wheein do that... i don't get it... did i do anything wrong?

the confusion of yesterday's event dominated my mind. even as i made my way to school, fully aware that i was already 15 minutes late, i continued strolling along with my slow pace. there's no big deal with being late; so what if the consequences were to call my parents and make me stay back for detention? it doesn't make things better, does it?

i could remember wheein's words whenever i went against rules. she had said, "as usual, my hyejinnie loves being rebellious and fatal." the bright smile she would flash, the eyes shining lovingly... i love them.

but what happened yesterday?

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although i wished i wouldn't, my eyes roamed the room to search for the familiar pair of eyes i've gotten used to. the same eyes i hoped to see, gazed into mine worriedly; but i heartlessly looked away, breaking the eye contact. out of the corner of my eyes, i caught a glimpse of hurt tucked away beneath her orbs. wheein hated me ignoring her more than anything. she pulled my chair out before i reached our desks, signaling me to sit down.

i could feel her intense stare on my side. i could imagine how she looked like right now; puppy eyes and a sad pout, if she couldn't take it any longer, her eyes would glisten with fresh tears hidden behind those eyebags.

and that would fill me with remorse.

but i didn't want to face her.

the lesson continued like normal, except with laser-like stares still watching and waiting for me to respond. until i finally gave in.

i turned to wheein and drew a breath, my voice shaking gravely, "you have a minute." relief flooded wheein's face; she was happy to oblige, but spoke quickly, "miss venus sent me an urgent message yesterday morning. she wanted keres and a few more people including me, to help in a project she was doing. i'm really sorry if i neglected you yesterday, i promise i won't do it again."

my brewing thoughts like a stormy rain slowed and resumed to my normal self. as soon as those words left her mouth, i felt glad that wheein did not purposely ignored me. it was hard to forgive her, but i'll try to. afterall, i can't be mad at wheein for long too.

but now, another thing weighed heavily on my mind.

why was i so worked up about wheein in the first place?

i was confused. i didn't understand myself.

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throughout the entire day, i stayed silent. i guess i was too preoccupied with my thoughts, i didn't realize that class had ended until wheein tapped on my shoulder. i trudged along with wheein on our way home with heavy footsteps. the look on wheein's face was unmistakable, she knew something was wrong, she knew something was up but she did not know how to begin speaking. she had no idea whether i was still angry at her, though i wasn't.

sensing her discomfort, i linked my arm with hers.

she whispered hoarsely, "hyejinnie, you will forgive me right?"
i nodded my head.
wheein sighed. our whole journey stayed like that, with silence enveloping our distance between each other.

that was when it finally dawned upon me.

i care for wheein more than i had imagined.
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