Honest Fragile Hearts [DISCONTINUED]

Words

Part VI- Words

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indescribable

maybe it was

the way he caught

my faraway gaze

or maybe it was

the color of his eyes

or the smell of his smile

i don't know

how he can make

me feel brand new

without effort

he can take away

another beat of my heart

another thought

of my crowded mind,

another glance.

he makes me feel

like an angel

beautiful yet indescribable.

-

A/N: This is completely random and I hope you understand. Thank you for the support guys! :)

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/he can make you feel/ like a itty bitty giddy/ little cute princess girl/ he is the perfect prince/ of your own fantasy./

It was another day in school.

We sat near each other, Two people away. He sat beside the window- beside the view of the outer world with beautiful rays of gold sun. It made his face even more beautiful.

Times when I would catch myself glancing, maybe even staring at him. I hope my classmates don't notice, I hope he doesn't.

I am such a stupid person for trying to start love again. I don't even know what happened, it just click and now I'm one step on falling.

He would catch my gaze, and without a second further, our eyes will change direction and look the other way. I don't know why- maybe it's because we never really talked anymore.

We were seatmates before, and we would always laugh and make fun of each other. He would be our comedian with sense of mind and humor.

But then people decided it was time to break our group apart. You made new circles, I made friends with new squares. You can even hear the sickening laughs and I can hear the mischevious grins, I wish I could say.

I hope he doesn't change. I hope he doesn't.

/is the sky/ the most beautiful/ or your eyes/ crowded with / some kind of fog/ maybe your lids/ that open to/ reveal a new/ kind of world/

He caught my gaze.

This time, I looked away. I cannot bare looking at him for a second more. It's not like I don't want to. How I want to stare at those irises for the rest of my forever.

I'm afraid, if I stared a little longer- I might end up dying in his brown debris. I don't wanna fall. I don't want to fall in the wrong hands, in the wrong time. With the wrong person.

Yet I don't think my eyes agree with my brain because next thing I realise, we were staring. It was a staring competition for two, but without competition. I would try to look away but no, I was locked. It surprised me that he hadn't looked away either.

Although he looked funny, to me- the way his hair glimmered in the sunlight and his eyes sparkled, it was like I was looking at a piece of fine art.

But that art is inside an unbreakable glass. Nobody can touch, nobody can steal. Not even me.

/just because he lives/ in your deep/ blue lonely world/ doesn't mean he/ never exists/ but that still/ doesn't mean/ he does./

I can't decipher why.

Why he is imperfectly perfect that I would always wonder why I say such cliché things. Why I think like this. I am not even realizing what I say, do or think.

He can't play instruments for the sake of the world. He can't sing for dead carrots. He can't dance for the ground's life. He is just the he. He's funny, annoying and violent.

I don't even know how I liked him in the first place. How I wish I could ask. Ask my own self- but why ask someone who never knew the answer?

We sat beside each other. It was uncomfortable, I wished for this moment but then I didn't like the attention people were giving me.

Sickening, was how it was. I like him yet I'm embarassed to be seen with him. I am a horrible person, A horrible admirer who cannot do anything but stare at the diamond whilst picking up rocks.

/him, him is another/ word or name/ for the mysterious/ boy who captured/ one's hearty gaze/ yet no one ever/ dared to know/ his only existance/ but her./

I was tired and confused.

Maybe I was angry. To no one specifically, or maybe to everyone in this world. I was sick, hungry, sleepy and frustrated with the world.

I thought the world wanted to be noticed, So I did. But the world never returned the favor and kept it selfishly, and I was fading into the world.

Please help me, I could only mutter to the winds blowing- hoping the message would linger in your ears. Yet there was this boundary, and the wind took place blown in the faraway farms.

I faded and soon, nothing but my finger was left. You saw that all too late and I wondered what could have happened if you saw it earlier.

Such a sad life, a sad story. How can I get you when you're over there, enjoying the stars instead of looking at the world? How can you see me, when you're counting fishes instead of diving in the sea?

I mutter nonsense, and soon- you smiled with the smile I fell inlove for. It was love? It was love. How can it be love? I took one choice and stepped forward.

/self confidence is what/ he always had/ that made me/ envious and giddy/ that the girl/ who will catch him/ would be ever so/ lucky indeed./

It was ending.

The fairytale that once existed with a Once Upon A Time. It ended with The End instead of the usual Ever Afters.

Cinderella tripped to her feet, Ariel wanted her old self, Belle never got freedom, Aurora was molested, Snow White- I wouldn't wanna list the sad afters.

The story of you and I could just be a chapter, or a part of the whole ten-thousand book pages. If forever really did exist, We have to fit inside the lines of time and space.

How can we do that if none of us are willing? I cannot realize or point out the reason why I fell. It wasn't the way your eyes sparkles, nor the way you made me laugh with your jokes and humor. It wasn't how you made me take that step. It wasn't how you made me think of you.

The list could go on and on.

Suddenly, The little girl who thought all love, sat by her window and clasped her red printed necklace. It wasn't love yet because adults knew. It wasn't like either because it was something more than that.

She had not realized anything, so she noticed the world bit by bit. Then the world finally gave her an answer.

'he is just him self.'

-

*the way i wrote it is the way i think.

i hope you guys like this :) sorry for the semi-hiatus! i'm busy since exams are comin' up and i'm dying -.- kthnx bye~

xoxo, A.

>ALEX<