Forever and Always (A Harry Styles Fan Fiction)

CHAPTER 18: Then

Time seemed to speed up with each passing month. As the seasons changed, the aching feeling in my heart remained, a constant reminder that part of me was missing. As my workload increased, I told myself that the harder I worked in school, the sooner Harry would be back. Of course, I knew in the back of my mind that life didn’t work that way, but the thought of Harry coming back gave me more motivation than anything else. With each day, our lives became progressively busier with less time to communicate. For some reason, I knew that even though he was on the other side of the world, I was still on his mind. 

Before I knew it, the beginning of my senior year at university had arrived. I realized that the last time I had verbally spoken to Harry was over the phone two months ago. Before, I never could’ve imagined not talking with him for more than a week, but now it had become almost expected. I didn’t like it, and the thought had always been hidden away in the back of my mind, rising at my most vulnerable moments, was striking back now. How much could distance and time change?

~ ~ ~

“Here are your three tickets to see the new One Direction documentary. Enjoy the movie!”

“Thanks,” I said with a smile as the woman behind the ticket booth handed me our tickets.

“I don’t know how you’re so calm, Jenny!” Natalie said as she took her ticket from me, bouncing on the balls of her feet. “We’re going to see the boys on the big screen!” 

Lindley laughed. “You forgot that Jenny’s already seen them in real life.”

An employee ripped our ticket stubs and pointed us down the hallway to our theater. “I’m still excited, though,” I said with a grin. “It’s not every day I get to see Harry’s face anymore.”

We walked through the doors and up to our plush VIP seats, Natalie’s arms loaded with soda and bags of popcorn. We had been one of the first people to buy our tickets to the midnight premiere of One Direction’s documentary. The theatre was packed with teenage girls, and I did admit I felt out of place since so many of them were younger than I was. But I was Harry’s girlfriend, and if that wasn’t a good enough reason for being here, I don’t know what would be. 

As the lights dimmed, the eager chattering of voices hushed down and the auditorium was almost eerily quiet compared to the commotion just moments before.

“Hi, we’re One Direction!” As the theater exploded with high-pitched cheers, I realized how much I had missed hearing those four words spoken in unison. Even through everything they had accomplished, these five men hadn’t really changed from the boys they once were. After an hour, the movie finally came to Harry’s interview segment. Just seeing on his face on the big screen nearly sent me over the edge and I bit my lip, trying to stop myself from tearing up.

“Singing with these four guys, who are like my brothers, it’s been amazing. We’ve got the most supportive family and friends, and the fans are just incredible. It’s more than I ever could’ve asked for.” A tiny hint of a smile appeared on Harry’s face. “It’s also brought me to a beautiful girl who has made my life infinitely better.”

My heart skipped a beat as I stared at the beautiful smile on the screen in front of me, his lips forming the shape of my name. 

“Thank you for everything you’ve given me, Jenny. I love you.” 

The scene faded out, and I realized my eyes were overflowing with tears. The longing I felt was beyond my capacity—I needed a moment to recollect myself. “I’ll be right back,” I whispered to no one in particular as I quickly stood up and stumbled down the stairs. Wiping my eyes, I hurried down the hallway and sat down on a cushioned bench near the entrance. I concentrated on the swirling gold patterns on the red carpet beneath me, finally letting go of everything I had been afraid of showing before. I could no longer pretend that the distance between us wasn’t changing anything. Keeping things bottled up and feigning courage could only hold me together for so long. It was finally coming to the point where I realized what was really happening; I was being torn apart every day, piece by broken piece. I didn’t need to just see Harry’s face or hear his voice. I needed him here with me, here to put the fragments back together and fill the ever-deepening chasm in my heart. Would God answer this simple prayer?