Rise (Colton Dixon)

Chapter 24

Five Months Later
Colton
Despite myself, I press play again. I don’t want to. Another piece of my heart is ripped out every time I watch it. But I just… I can’t stop.
Annie walks into the room as it finishes for the millionth time.
“Okay, what gives?” she asks, smiling in a slightly worried way.
I shake my head in an attempt to clear it. “What?”
“Colton, you have been sitting there staring at your phone for about fifteen minutes,” she replies. “You aren’t typing, you aren’t scrolling. You’re just staring at it. Why?”
I sigh. “Have you seen Alexis’s latest post on Facebook?” I ask finally.
Annie tilts her head slightly. “From when?”
“Today.”
“No, I haven’t.” She pulls out her phone and quickly taps a few times. “There it is… a video?”
I nod miserably.
She taps what’s obviously play, and is silent for the thirty seconds the video takes. I can hear the faint volume from here. As she watches, the light expression on her face slowly disappears.
There’s no way it couldn’t. Because the entire video is the same, horrible thing.
I don’t know if she made it or if someone else did and she’s reposting it, but it doesn’t matter. It basically outlines everything I feared Alexis was feeling on the inside.
Life is pain. There’s no reason to live. It says she’s unloved and ugly, and that the only way out is death.
Finally, Annie looks up at me sadly. “That’s not good.”
I shake my head, biting back tears.
“But,” she adds, coming over to stand behind me with her hands on my shoulders. “you guys have been able to keep an eye on her. I know Nate said she wasn’t good at all when he saw her in April, but John, Korey, Jen, and Seth are going back soon, remember? And then, you’ll be there.”
I nod slowly. “I know. I’m going back with Britt, Nich, Zach, and Jacob in a month for Hope Fest.”
“And then?” she reminds me gently.
I take a deep breath. “And then, Joel and Luke will be there in early July.”
“And then?” she prompts again.
“Michael and his gang in August, and Mike and his in September.”
“And,” Annie adds, “Toby is going to be there a few weeks after you, and I’m sure he’ll be more than willing to do the same thing that Nich and the others did when they were there.”
“I know, but…” I falter, and a few tears push past my defenses. “what if she actually does it?” It comes out a choked whisper.
Annie rubs my shoulders gently. “Well, that’s why we’re continuing to pray for her. And, Colt, if you’re worried about her, just try calling her again. Leave her a voicemail, text her, something.”
“I guess…” I take a deep breath and nod more surely. “Right. Okay. Thanks, Ann.”
“Of course,” she replies, leaning down and kissing my cheek. “I know you’re worried about her, Colton.”
I rise and turn around, lightly planting my own kiss on her lips before heading to the back of the house to call Alexis.
I sit down on our bed, taking a deep breath as I stare at her name. Please pick up this time.
It rings once, and again. And again. A fourth time. She’s not picking up. Just when I think it’s going to click to voice mail, I hear a change on the line.
“Hello?” her voice is so small that at first I think I may have imagined it, but she takes a deep breath, and it’s unmistakable. She’s actually there. And she’s obviously been crying.
“Alexis, what’s wrong?” I ask quietly.
There’s a repeat of that breath, but sharper this time. “Nothing,” she says stubbornly. “I’m fine, Colton.”
“Come on, Lex,” I reply gently. “You told me that’s not true with your post this morning.”
She sighs. “Is that seriously what this is about? You’re one of the only ones who hasn’t messaged me about it. I don’t know what the ******* big deal about it is.”
“Alexis, we love you,” I try. “Can you just tell me why you’re feeling like that?”
“Why wouldn’t I?” she snaps. “Colton, there is nothing about my life that is worth living right now.”
“But what’s the worst?” I press. “Come on, girl. Just talk to me.”
“I can’t.” This time, I hear a desperate note in her voice. “If I do, you’re gonna freak out and call the cops, and everything is gonna get worse.”
“The cops?” I ask, feeling alarm surge through me. “About you being suicidal?”
She doesn’t answer, and I don’t know whether to take the silence as a yes or a no.
“Look, Alexis, I…” I exhale slowly. Because we both know she’s right. If she’s in danger, I’ll call the police. “I just want to help,” I whisper finally.
“Colton, no one can help me, so give it up.” I can tell she’s trying to snap at me. But it comes out more hopeless than angry.
“I know it feels like that –“ I start, but she cuts me off.
“And it’s true. There is only one way out of what I’m in right now and we both know what it is.”
I open my mouth to respond, but someone shouting in the background beats me to it. I can’t make out any words except Alexis’s name. Maybe something about a customer? But that doesn’t make any sense.
She swears quietly.
“What’s going on?” I ask urgently.
“I…” She stops herself. “Nothing. I’m fine.” But I hear tears behind her voice.
“No, you’re not,” I reply desperately. “Please, just tell me, Alexis. I just want to help!”
“You can’t, Colton!” she snaps. “Anything you try to do is just going to make things worse.” Her voice trembles even as she says the words.
There’s another shout, and it’s the final straw.
She bursts into tears.
“Lexie…” I say softly, feeling utterly helpless. “Hey, it’s gonna be okay. Just tell me what’s going on.”
“I… I can’t do this anymore,” she sobs.
“Do what?” I ask desperately.
She takes a breath to respond, but before she can, I hear noise in the background and the voice of a man cuts her off.
“Let’s go, Alexis,” he snaps. “He’s waiting.”
“Please!” I’ve never heard her beg like that before. “Please, I can’t… I can’t do that anymore!”
“I don’t care what you want or don’t want, Alexis,” the man growls. “Your customer is waiting.”
And the line goes dead.
What just happened?
I press her name again, but no one picks up.
I can feel myself beginning to panic. Because, whatever’s going on, I know that it’s horrible. I stare at the calendar on our wall for a long moment. I can’t wait a month. Who knows what will have happened by then?
And there’s nothing stopping me from going now. I’m not on tour right now… I’ve just been flying out to different locations for one-time fairs or festivals, and Hope Fest is my next. And Alexis needs my help now.
I glance down at my phone, switch to messaging and text her two lines.
Hang in there. I’m coming to see you.
Annie walks in as I send it.
“How did it go?” she asks. “I heard you talking to her.”
I shake my head slowly. “Something’s going on, Ann. When she hung up, there was a man who was trying to drag her out to a “customer”. I’ve never seen her so desperately against something. She was literally begging him not to make her.”
Annie’s eyes widen. “That sounds really bad, Colt.”
I nod agreement. “I know. And… I know it’s short notice, but I’ve gotta go and see what’s going on. If she’s getting hurt, it’s gotta stop.”
“I agree,” she says readily. “I wish I could come, but I don’t think they’ll let me off this short notice. But try to take at least one partner, Colt. I don’t like the idea of you going by yourself.”
I consider her statement. It’s a wise one. And I can probably get at least one of the boys to go with me…
My thoughts are interrupted by the chime of my phone.
It’s from Luke.
Have you seen Alexis’s latest facebook post?
I have. And when I called her, it got worse. I’m flying out to see her.
It’s a few minutes that I use to start packing… or trying to until Annie says I’m going it wrong and takes over for me… until he responds.
After last night’s, our next show isn’t for two weeks.
They’re doing the same thing as I am at the moment.
Joel and I and Moriah will meet you in Denver.
I can’t tell you how much that means to me. Thanks, guys.
I look up at Annie. “Luke just volunteered him, Joel, and Moriah to meet me in Denver.”
She smiles. “That’s great. I know Moriah will be a big help.”
I nod agreement. Thanks to the Lord, this seems to be working out. I just hope Alexis can stay safe until we get there.

By the time I’m saying goodbye to Annie at the airport, Mike is only a few feet away and doing the same to his wife and children, having volunteered to come along… since they’re not currently touring either… the minute he found out what was happening.
Finally, I kiss Annie one more time.
“I love you,” I whisper as we pull back.
“I love you too,” she replies, smiling slightly. “And I’m proud of you for doing this, Colton. Just stay safe, and keep me updated.”
I nod. “I will. I promise.” And we turn away to board the plane.
Just hang in there, Alexis. We’re on our way.