Rise (Colton Dixon)

Chapter 25

Alexis
He leaves me alone in the bedroom, just like they always do.
The moment the door shuts behind him, I burst into tears, burying my face in the pillow. I can’t believe my father keeps making this happen to me. What did I do to him? What did I do to deserve this?
But I swear he enjoys it. I mean, I know it’s making him money. But it doesn’t have to be much. He took ten bucks the other day. And it doesn’t have to be money. He’s taken drugs and beer more times than I can count. Which just cause more parties, which causes more of this. And so on.
It’s a never-ending cycle. I’m never going to get out of it. There’s no way I can. No one can help me.
I’ve stopped into the youth group of the church Colton took me to a few times, just to escape my house at night, but I know they can’t help me. All they can do is offer to pray at the end of each meeting. Say they’re there for us and we can tell them anything and that Jesus is the answer and all that ****. Yeah. Because talking to the sky about my problems is going to fix them.
But nothing can help me. Even if the police got involved, even if I was taken away from my parents, I’d just get shoved into foster care, and then it would happen again, because no one halfway decent would ever want someone as worthless and broken as I am.
Shakily, I step off of the bed and reach for my clothing, gingerly pulling it on. My entire body aches.
Except… there is one way out. It’s just… I’m a little scared to use it.
I mean, what if Colton’s right? I know it’s impossible, but still… what if? I don’t like where I’d be going. But then again, I’m living in hell on earth right now.
In the one in a million chance that all that **** is actually real, it can’t get much worse than this. And otherwise, sweet darkness. Peace at last.
The realization puts a fire in my step as I creep to the door. I poke my head out, making sure the cost in clear, and sprint to my room. I’m not delaying a moment longer.
Shoving aside every doubt in my mind, I walk to my dresser, yank it open, and rummage to the back. And withdraw two bottles of pain killer. This is happening. I can do this.
I toss them onto my bed and grab my water bottle and razor. Deep breath.
Do I really want to do this? Of course I do. There’s no reason why I shouldn’t.
I hear footsteps in the hall, and feel panic run through me. If my parents find out about this, I’ll be way worse than dead.
The footsteps move on, but I don’t care. I can’t do this while they’re home. They’ll be out tonight, I’m sure. I’ve just gotta hold off another few hours. Until then. I just have to weather the pain.
I toss the pills and razor under my bed, grab my laptop, and start “The Two Towers: Extended Edition”. Just a few more hours.

Just as the movie is ending, I hear my parents leaving. Perfect timing. I slam the laptop shut and jump to the floor, kneeling and retrieving the pills and my razor. Time to make this happen.
I uncap the first bottle, do the same to my water bottle, and pour about ten pills into my hand. Into my mouth, add some water, and swallow. First step done. I repeat it, this time with more pills. And again. Before I know it, the first bottle is gone. And the second.
I stare at them in a small amount of shock. I just did it.
Now all I have to do is wait. I yank back my sleeve and swiftly slice the razor across my scar-covered wrist.
One, for hour one of waiting for death. By the time I pass out, I’ll have four or five of them. And then another three or so, and then… I’m dead. That’s all I want right now.
I walk to my window and open it, then drop the pill bottles through the hole in the screen. Now the evidence is gone.
I turn back to my room. What do I do now?
I guess I might as well check my phone or something. I haven’t looked at it since before my last “customer”. I push away the memory of my conversation with Colton. It doesn’t matter what he thinks. This is what needs to happen.
I pick up the phone and it lights up like it always does. And I see two text notifications. Both of them from Colton. Great.
I go to messaging and read quickly.
Hang in there. I’m coming to see you.
Wait, what? Oh please no. No, no, no! This cannot be happening. I check the time on it.
Almost five hours ago. ***** it.
And I scroll down to read the next.
We just boarded a plane. We’re on our way.
***** it!
I look at that one’s time. Three and a half hours ago.
******* why me?
What am I gonna do? What if he finds out? That can’t happen. That can’t happen!
I take a deep breath, attempting to calm my racing heartbeat. It’s fine. He won’t know. How could be know? And maybe he’ll be held up until it’s too late to do anything anyway.
As if on cue, another text pops up on the feed as my phone chimes its arrival.
Are your parents home?
I take a deep breath. I could lie.
No.
Or I could tell the ******* truth for some ******** reason.
Great. We just got off and met up. We’ll get our luggage and be on our way.
Don’t panic. Just don’t panic. I’m beginning to panic.

An hour and a half, and I hear a knock at the door. Breath. Just breath.
I’m too frozen in fear to even move.
It comes again, before, slowly, I hear the door creek open. Because my parents are stupid enough to leave it unlocked.
“Alexis?” I hear Colton’s voice. “Are you here?”
I open my mouth, but no words come out.
“Alexis?” he repeats, his voice coming closer. I hear him in the hallway.
A few more steps, and he’s in the doorway of my room.
His eyes light on me, and, for some stupid reason, they fill with tears and he rushes over and envelopes me in a hug.
I find myself shaking in his embrace. I don’t know if it’s just getting touched, or if it’s the realization that he’s really here, or if it’s just the sheer emotion of the day, but he obviously feels it and pulls back, looking me in the eye.
“Hey, what’s wrong?”
I shake my head. “Nothing. I’m fine. I –“ I falter. “I –“ And, for some ******** reason, I burst into tears.
Colton hugs me again, more softly this time. “It’s gonna be okay,” he whispers, pressing my face into his chest. “You’re gonna be okay.”
As my tears slow, it really sinks in what’s happening, and I pull away sharpy, staring at the ground.
“Why’d you ******* come?” I ask quietly. “I told you I’m fine.”
“We were worried about you,” he replies gently. “And we missed you.”
I wince at the plural. “We?”
He offers me a small smile. “Me and some of your favorite people.”
I look up to see Joel, Luke, Mike, and a lady I don’t know stepping into the room one-by-one.
“Hello, Darling,” Joel says, offering me a smile, and the other two I know echo the greeting, while the lady just offers me a soft, beautiful smile.
Colton obviously sees me looking at her, and rises, gently pulling me to my feet with him.
“Alexis,” he says, “this is Moriah, Joel’s wife. Moriah, this is Alexis.”
She holds out her hand with another smile. “I’m so glad to finally meet you,” she says.
I stare at the flor while I shake the hand, mumbling my own greeting.
I just don’t know why they would fly all the way here just to see me. It doesn’t make any sense.
“So,” Moriah says, glancing around, “this is your room?”
I shrug. “I guess.”
It’s not like it’s anything special. Dirty, faded carpet that used to be white but is now closer to brown, dark walls, an old bed frame with an older mattress and even older blankets, a dresser, a closet, and a desk.
She nods. “Cool.”
Colton hesitates before turning to me. “Look, first off,” he says finally, “what was your dad talking about earlier today? He said you had a customer?”
I don’t raise my eyes from the floor. “They make me babysit to give them extra money. I just don’t like doing it.”
“Love, Colton said it sounded a lot more serious than babysitting,” Luke says gently. “Can you please just tell us what’s really going on?”
I shake my head desperately. “No. I mean, that’s the truth!”
“It’s okay, Alexis,” Mike says quietly. “You can trust us.”
“That’s the truth,” I repeat more steadily, but I still can’t look any of them in the eye. “I told you guys, I’m fine.”
“Alexis –“ Colton starts, but the sound of the door opening again cuts him off.
“We’re home!” My obviously-drunk mother.
Now? Please no. Please, please, please, no!