Dizzy ϟ 5sos [Cake]

four - how do i tell a girl

"So now her picture is in his head

And she's all he talks about to his friends.

He acts like it's nothing but we all know the truth."

- How Do I Tell a Girl I Want to Kiss Her // Modern Baseball

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calum and luke had been really close friends by the time calum really admitted to himself how he felt about the boy. He hadn't originally understood why he was always nervous to talk to luke, he always felt like he needed to impress him for some reason, and he ignored this feeling deep in his stomach when he looked into those clear blue eyes for too long. he came to the realization one day when he was having a long chat over the phone with ashton.

"So, have you been interested in anyone lately?" the curly haired boy asked through the phone and calum had to think about it for a second. he tried to avoid romance and crushes as much as he could because he didn't really have time for it. he never usually addressed his own feelings in the first place.

but did he like someone? what does it mean to like someone? what does it feel like?

luke was the second thing to pop in calum's head, right after jack barakat of course. he considered it as his friend waited for a response on the other end of the line. maybe he did kind of like luke.

"silence clearly means there's someone. so, who the heck is it?" ashton sounded excited now, he could really be like a little girl sometimes. the younger boy lay back onto his bed, head hitting his pillow fast.

"well, i think i kind of..." calum started before shaking his head. "i don't wanna say because you probably won't keep your mouth shut."

it also occurred to calum that he hadn't come out to ashton, let alone anyone else. it was something that just didn't come up very often.

"i won't tell anyone, i promise! i'm great at keeping secrets! remember when you told me about michael's weird kink? i never told anyone about that." he reminded in his loud voice and calum cringed a little at the memory before sighing in defeat.

"alright. don't laugh or freak out, okay?" his voice cracked a little at the end. he was nervous. he had hardly admitted his homosexuality to himself, let alone tell his friend about a little crush on some boy.

"it's not me, is it?"

calum laughed really hard at this. he was rolling over onto his side clutching his stomach just at the thought of ashton as anything more than his friend. that would just be crazy, honestly.

"okay, just making sure." ashton sounded relieved, but also a little offended at how much calum was laughing. "come on! tell me, tell me, tell-"

"okay, shut up!" the dark haired boy shouted and then covered his face with his free hand. it was a good thing ashton couldn't see his face right now, because he could feel that his whole face was red and he couldn't seem to wipe the stupid grin off of his face. he couldn't believe he was saying this. here goes nothing. "i think i kind of like luke."

the line was quiet for too long. there was a lot of movement and rustling and it made calum even more nervous.

"ash? are you still there?"

nothing.

"oh god, do you hate me? i'm sorry, please, just forget i-" he was in a panic but ashton cut him off before he could get more frantic and crazy.

"of course not, cal! it's good! thanks for telling me." his voice was sincere and reassuring which made calum really relieved. he didn't want ashton to hate him. "hey, i actually have to go, but we should talk about this tomorrow. alright?"