Why I can't sleep at night sometimes

a poem i wrote the summer before i ran away

When creativity is lost,
What does one look for?
A simple friend to spread moral,
or find a sense of self.
I cry when i think of going home
after lonely nights of scowling.
Wish i never had to go back,
finding pleasure in others experience.
Memories you wish to relive
mean nothing anymore.
Nostalgia,
seems to be the only thing you get now and days.
Are you not happy?
Who can define good
in a world with perspectives that come in ones.
No one will ever understand,
or maybe they will.
I guess I'll never know.