Make My Way

Chapter Forty-Nine

Stella's POV

The next week at school, things got interesting.

The bell had just rung for fourth period. I had been getting help in a different class so I was rushing to get the choir room. I was already late but then Jordan came up behind me and pushed me against the lockers. He rammed his lips into mine. I started to kiss him back and I felt his hands moving up my shirt. I wrapped my arms around his neck. I heard a soft cough from behind him and I pulled away. I opened my eyes to see Luca and Neil walking away.

I didn't know what just happened, but when Jordan whispered, "See you later," into my ear, there was nothing else I could do but go to class. I wanted to tell Aria but when I looked back I saw her engaged in a conversation with Adrian, who now sat next to her. Jordan was only the fourth guy I had kissed, but I had to say, I liked it. I was starting to see why Aria seemed to be kissing a new guy every week.

After school I walked to my car. I was about to unlock the door when a body came up from behind me and pushed me against my car. I looked up to see who it was. Neil didn't waste anytime pressing his lips to mine. I knew he had seen Jordan and I in the hallway. This was his revenge.

We started to make out. I didn't know he could kiss like that, with such passion. I could see that from a guy like Adrian, but Neil? I opened the car door and I fell in the front seat. Neil crashed on top of me. His hands slowly made their way up my back and he closed the door behind us. I felt his hand go to my boob and squeeze. I had never gone farther than first base before and honestly, second felt great. I wanted more. I bumped my head in the passenger seat when I pulled away to breathe and I heard a low whistle from outside, but I didn't care. I didn't even look to see who it was. I grinded my body up against his. I still wanted more.

It took me a while to actually register where we were. We were in my car. In public. And there were people watching us. Neil pulled back, breathing heavily and looked up. "Shit, I'm sorry. I've got to go." He straightened his shirt and jumped out of the car. I sat up straight and looked outside. Caden was still looking between me and Neil. "So this is what you said you'd be late to basketball for? Not that I don't approve, but wow," Caden said almost surprised. "I was just sent to come and find you but I didn't think I'd get such a show." They walked away, back into the school together. Holy crap. I needed to talk to Aria.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

The next day at school, I had Drumline during zero hour, at 7:30, and I got there earlier than I had planned and still had fifteen minutes before it started. I saw Luca sitting alone in the common room. As I walked by, he shouted for my attention. "Stella! I need to talk to you."

I went over to him and sat down on the couch beside him. "Look," he started, "I really thought I liked you Stella. You were there for me when I needed you and you've always been a great friend, since elementary school. We even used to get in trouble talking to each other in class." I laughed, I remembered that. "But then I saw you with Jordan. And then all anyone was talking about after basketball yesterday in the locker room was you and Neil, and now I don't know what to do. Stella-"

I slammed my lips into Luca's. I just wanted him him to shut up. He gave in quickly and I felt him relax under my hands and my own stress seemed to float away. I had dreamed of this many time before, but I never thought I would actually happen. I also realized something else. As great as it was, my feelings had changed. I didn't like him like that anymore. I had never liked Jordan, and Neil.... Well Neil was complicated.

I realized that I liked it when guys flirted with me. Julian had flirted with me when we were dating. I wanted that back. Honestly? I wanted Julian back. Jordan flirted with me, but not in the same way. With him, it was different. Harder. The only person who I had actually enjoyed flirting with since Julian was Adrian....

I was confused. Very confused. Not sexually confused, but boy confused. Aria hadn't liked someone for a while now, maybe I could just do that, right? But that wasn't me. That was Aria, not me. Despite however good of friends we were, we were different. Very different. And sometimes, that's a good thing. I had options, too many options. Neil, Luca, Adrian, Julian.... The list went on. I really needed to figure my life out. I really needed to talk to Aria.

The five minute bell rang. I jumped up and waved goodbye at Luca who was still sitting on the couch looking stunned. I saw Aria in Drumline and made it clear that I needed to talk to her. I pulled her into one of the dressing rooms behind me and locked the door. I took a deep breath and tried to decide how to tell her. I thought about my options. I knew for sure I didn't like Jordan. He was out. Luca just didn't make me feel the same way he used to. I had been over Julian for a long time, but now it was starting to come back. I didn't actually know if it was him I wanted or if it was just that I wanted the kind of relationship we used to have. Neil.... Well if Neil talked to me more and would actually willingly spend time with me, I would choose him in a second. But he didn't. I decided he was still in the running but I wasn't sure.

Then there was Adrian. Adrian flirted with me. We could talk. We were best friends on snapchat if that mattered (but he was still just behind Aria). He was the first guy I'd made out with for real. Julian and I had kissed for a long time but we never really made out. And Adrian gave me this feeling, kind of like the one I used to have with Luca, but it was different. It made me feel excited and scared. Like my stomach was churning, in a good way. It made my face get so warm that I was sure he could see me blushing. It made my hands shake and it got harder to stand up straight. It made me notice every little thing about myself and criticize it, making me self-conscious of everything.

I just didn't know. I looked Aria in the eye, took a deep breath, and started talking.