Alternative Ending/ I want my innocence back

Epilogue

Epilogue

I hid out for a few days. Then, the Capitol was pretty much fed up with me. All I remember is a sharp pain run through my veins. After that, my world started spinning. Then, everything went black. Next thing I know, I'm strapped down to a hospital bed. I want so badly to die. Every breath I take is a harsh reminder that Cato will never breath again.

I can't cause myself physical harm, what with the restraints and all.

I refused to eat and drink, hoping to kill myself that way. But they pumped vitamins through my veins.

I didn't sleep, hoping I'd eventually die. They just drugged me up and knocked me out.

Whenever I tried to bite myself as a resort of attempted suicide, they'd knock me out.

I tried to kill myself by not breathing. I found out that was impossible. You can knock yourself out, but then your lungs will automatically start working again.

When I tried to yell or sing outrageously loud or shout out threats or sing murderous songs or curse up a storm, they'd knock me out.

I didn't see why they wanted me alive so badly. Every moment I spent alive was another piece of my heart shattering....

Am I part of some experiment? Do they want to know how long a girl will last before she literally dies of a broken heart?

I just want to be dead. It's not even suicide anymore. It would be freedom. I need to see Cato again.

I'm alive but I'm not living.

At this point it would be mercy to kill me. It's like when I hunt. I don't skim the animal, making so they will bleed out. I kill them at once, instantly. it's the merciful thing to do. But right now, I've already bled out. I'm just not dead. And that is the worst feeling ever.