Karma's Happenstance

Deadly Silent

Deadly Silent

MJ POV 

It’s 3 am and I’m laying wide awake. I can’t sleep for the noise inside my head. That’s the second night in a row I can’t find any sleep at all. My mind is racing, my head hurts and my eyes are already dried out from crying.

I’ve been hiding in Nikki’s room. Despite his reputation and his attitude he’s such a sweetheart. I’m beginning to get him a little. He’d never admit it but he cares about me. It’s nice and I feel safe with him. Not like I felt with Izzy but in a comfortable kind of way. I like being with him. 

When Nikki is with me, he always tries to make me laugh. He’s funny. He wouldn’t admit this either. But he goes to great lengths to make me smile. When he tells me f his rock star adventures the narration is always a delight.

But when I’m alone, I can’t stop crying. Seeing Izzy with that other woman broke my heart. I know I have no right to be upset about it but I can’t change how I feel about him. For a moment, when he kissed me, I thought he would feel the same. But obviously he doesn’t. I can’t blame him though. I’m a church freak after all. 

I roll onto my back, staring at the ceiling like I’ve been doing for hours now. There’s a party going on in the suite. I don’t want to be there. I still don’t feel comfortable with all those naked girls around. And I can’t face Izzy yet. It still hurts too much. 

He has been trying to apologize. He begged me to forgive him and lounged in front of Nikki’s room for hours. 

"I’ve fucked up." Izzy kept saying. "Baby, I know I’ve fucked up."

I think I even heard him sobbing at one point and it nearly broke my heart all over again. I wanted to forgive him. I wanted this so bad, but I just couldn’t.

Nikki kept telling me what a fuckup Izzy is and I should either live with him having sex with other women or just forget him.

"That’s what guys like us do, honey." Nikki said. "It’s just too hard to say no when your dick is in charge." 

I hear Izzy in the hallway again. He’s playing guitar again. I heard him play a lot in the last few days. He is incredible. Everyone is all about Slash and his so called guitar skills. Whatever that means. But when Izzy’s on stage, I can’t look away. Even with Axl doing the weirdest moves, I can’t take my eyes off Izzy. He’s the most beautiful thing I have ever seen on a stage. Not that I have a lot to compare though. 

Now he’s playing again and I can hear him hum. Izzy has a beautiful voice. I love to hear him sing. It’s rougher than Axl’s, but I can’t help feeling shivers all over my body when he sings.

I almost forget to breathe, drinking in every single word he’s singing. My heart skips a beat, listening to the words coming through my door. Is he singing about me? It almost sounds like a love song to me and I can’t stop more tears from falling. 

When he suddenly stops playing I lay there a while, listening if he’s still out there. I instantly miss his voice and fight the urge to take a peak if he’s still there. 

Maybe Nikki is right. Maybe I should loosen up and take a part in the real world. I shouldn’t expect Izzy to feel the same way I do and I should either take the man I’ve fallen for or forget him. But forgetting him was out of the question. 

Nikki Sixx POV 

Three days. 
Three fucking days and that fucker Stradlin still wouldn’t shut the fuck up. I’m close to strangling that motherfucker. Seriously.

What a fucking wimp. First he kept banging on the door for hours, begging and crying like a fucking baby. Now he won’t fucking stop playing that mushy love song. What the fuck is wrong with the guy? Can’t he just get over it? I mean, yeah the chick is hot but there are other fish in the sea, right? 

But maybe it’s just me. I can’t complain about what’s on the menu for me. That fucker Stradlin doesn’t have such a selection of fine meat. He may be a guitarist but he’s a fucking loser.

That thing with the stripper though? Have to give him credit for that. That number was hilarious and that stupid fucker send the girl directly into my arms with this. Sometimes I’m a lucky bastard I guess. 

I wasn’t even aware I was capable of feeling sorry for someone else, but the girl was broken. Hell, I even tried to defend Stradlin because it’s not like he acted weird. That’s just what guys like us do. We fuck hookers and strippers. Just with the difference that I don’t have to pay for them. God, they’re lucky if they don’t have to pay me. 

So, that girl was sitting on my bed, crying and sobbing like hell and I was so fucking confused and helpless. I just needed a fix to get my head straight. 

Sure, I wanted to fuck with Stradlin. Get back to him because he almost broke my nose, that fucker. But I underestimated the grief of that girl. What the fuck is so special about Stradlin anyway? She could fuck me now. I’m the better choice anyway. Of course. 

When I got my gear together to prep me a fix, she looked at me strangely. That girl was weird as hell sometimes. Like she’d been living on a different planet or something.

"Do you have something for me, too?" She asks me on the third day and I frown. It’s nothing new to share with chicks, get high and fuck like there’s no tomorrow. It kinda comes with the territory. But something told me that this chick is different.

"You ever tried heroin, honey?" I asked suspiciously. Why the hell am I even questioning her? 

"No." She shook her head. "But you and Izzy seem to enjoy it a lot. And Izzy always seem to be better with taking it. I just want to feel better, Nikki." She says and I totally get her. 

I can’t cut back an evil grin. 
This is exactly the thing I have been waiting for. Shoot up the girl, make her mine and fuck her the whole night. Hook her up on smack and she’ll never look back to Stradlin again. Damn, this is so fucking easy I almost laugh. This would kill that fucker Stradlin.

But I hesitate. Her bright blue eyes are pleading me to help her. And before I can help it I hear myself say: "You should stick with booze, girl. You don’t really want to get involved with this shit."

Fuck me, Did I really just say that?