Gentleman Caller

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Okay so I'm trying not to freak out right now.....

But on the electricity line outside my house there is one bigass Kevin! 

Seriously, this pigeon is so fat that the line is sinking down!

I've seen Kevin literally 53720486 times but he still takes my breath away! I know he's really old but still.

Me: KEVINNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!

Kevin: *awkward bird noise*

My Neighbor: SHUT UP!

Me: I can't! I have a gentleman caller!

I'm going to freaking faint.

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